I have a cold right now on top of my regularly scheduled chronic illness. I am happy to report that the math works out: while sick sucks, double sick sucks even harder. I also mildly resent living in a world where I have to show state-issued identification in order to buy cold medicine. I guess my point here is, can we just legalize meth and for that matter all the drugs already?
Double sick on mescaline might be okay.
Sometimes, when I’m having a hard time staying focused on sex (and I need to if I want to come), I think to myself…
That’s a fucking penis inside of you/person’s mouth on your cunt/pussy in front of your face! (or whatever is happening at the time)
and for some reason, it always turns me back on, sometimes so much so that I come seconds later.
It’s almost like you’re dirty talking to yourself. I can see it.
A girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago. At the time I considered the split to be a mutual decision; we had been drifting apart mainly due to schedule problems but there were other issues as well. Although we were compatible and the sex was good, we just weren’t at the same place in our lives.
Anyhow, I thought that I had processed the break-up. She and I remained friends. Life has been hectic for me and I haven’t been dating since. Then she let me know that she was seeing someone else. She had a reason to let me know, it wasn’t just a cruel or flip remark. And the news hit me like the Titanic hit the TARDIS. I feel insecurities about the end of our relationship that are totally irrational. What does he have that I don’t? (Aside from a similar job, schedule, and income to her, and living right down the street from her, and basically none of these problems that made her uncomfortable about our relationship). Does he make her laugh? Is he wittier than I am? Does he get her geeky references? Does he know about that tiny spot on her nipple that drives her wild?
What did I do wrong? (Almost certainly nothing, which is one of the most irrational bits). The fact is, we just weren’t as compatible as I wanted us to be. And I know that there are other women out there with whom I’ll be able to read comic books while we cuddle and play Portal 2 and have Dr. Horrible Sing-A-Long time. So why am I so distressed about this whole situation? I’m bothered that this is bothering me at all!
For most people, it’s probably one thing to walk away from a relationship that wasn’t working, but another to feel like they’ve been replaced. This is irrational brain stuff, yeah, but it’s pretty natural. When your favorite independent coffee shop closes down and a big FOR LEASE sign goes up, you probably go through a lot of emotions that are more or less not entirely unlike sadness. But when you see that the location has reopened as a fast food franchise, the original sadness may come back up along with indignation and revulsion and a weird craving for deep fried carbs. This is how we work. Double sick will never not suck. Unless mescaline.
But I hope you’ve come out the other side of all that by now. If not, you will.
So I have a massive oral fixation and love giving oral sex, and I was able to give my boyfriend his first-ever blowjob. Yay, me! Unfortunately, he’s not so familiar with blowjob protocol or the idea that yes, my lips do actually spend most of their time being chapped as hell and that you can’t just grab my hair and have my mouth be ready. But when I tell him that I don’t like/can’t do something, he gets extra-super-careful with me, like he might break me or sommat, and I don’t know if I have all the words to explain exactly what kind of spontaneity lets me not feel completely caught off-guard. I keep thinking, “Just fucking say something!” but then I remember that there are a lot of different ways to say something and not all of them are accurate communication. I’m shit at communication, and even though I’m practicing, it’s a miserable sort of practice, and I really don’t know what to do, and I usually just end up babbling myself into meaningless circles. I’ve become super-nervous about cuddling now, because I like to cuddle a lot, and make out for hours, and he isn’t used to the idea of that so when things get heavy he sort of instantly assumes that penis-in-vagina sex should be happening. I really like him, he’s wonderful in bed, and mostly, I’m just sad that he’d never spent more than five minutes making out with someone before moving on to sex. But how do I convey how wonderful I find making out to be? Or how I don’t find orgasms to be the sole reason to have sex? Or how he’s SO FUCKING SEXY?, because he seriously has NO idea, and it makes me sad that he doesn’t like lots of parts of himself? Please help! I don’t know what to do! I’ve exhausted the Internet’s supply of kittens in the effort to make myself less mopey, and it still hasn’t completely worked.
I feel that I should point out that you seem to be able to convey a lot of these things you want to say in text. I don’t see any good reason one couldn’t make a “How to fuck me” living document to share with one’s lovers, or an infographic, or even a pop-up picture book. It could include the details of what you know you like, what you know you don’t like, what you’re attracted to, what you fantasize about, what you’re curious about, what you find sexy about your current partner/s, and everything you think someone may care to know. It may be a slightly different way to communicate than you have in mind (or maybe not), but whatever works is of value.
I am not coming when I have sex. I do feel great and all, but I feel there’s more to it. What can I do to discover what I’m missing?
If you are having orgasms while masturbating, I would try to incorporate getting yourself off into the partnered sex you’re having. Before sex or after or during or all of the above. It might teach your partner some things about how you like to be touched, and just making your orgasms part of whatever sex you’re having may be “more” all by itself.
If you are not having orgasms in any context at this time, I hope one of my readers has good advice for you because I never know the answer to that one.
I am seriously considering becoming a “sex worker”. I’m a married, mostly stay-at-home mom in my 30s and I’m tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I recently talked to someone who is a “paid companion” and she sees a couple men on a semi-regular basis. All are men she would date even if there wasn’t money involved. My husband and I have an open marriage and he has no problem with me seeing other men. He’d be aghast knowing I was doing it for money. Still seriously considering it. An extra 1,000 a month sure would make things a lot easier.
I really don’t see this as much different than going to my regular job. I use my skills to provide a desired service and get compensated for it. Only in this case, instead of using my skills to line the pockets of a greedy boss, I’d be doing it solely to benefit myself and my family.
If I lived in the Firefly universe I know in my heart of hearts that I would be a registered companion. And I know I’m not the only one. Show of hands?
Can we just legalize everything already? Christ.
So, i’m 20 years old and i’ve have been dating my first honest to god boy for about 2 months now. We met online,which amazed me since all the guys i’d met and gone on dates with from this particular site were complete duds. We’re both nerds, which is awesome as I was in need of a Doctor Who buddy. It is the best perk ever that I find him so attractive and enjoy putting his cock in my mouth. The fact that he can make me laugh whenever we’re together for hours on end is amazing as well.
My sex drive has always been ridiculous. Ever since I discovered masturbation in earnest at age 15. I’d always kind of had that ”warm tingly” sensation down below when I saw naughty things, but it took me forever to make the connection that a HAND goes down there. So it was inevitable that after about 4 weeks of dating, he somehow ends up eating me out while I writhe in ecstasy on his bedroom floor. I believe there was some sort of tickling hi-jinks and my legs ended up spread eagled in a skirt.
After that, we took to doing oral and other naughty things out in semi-public places. First, it started with him giving me the best oral in a garden and a few other places. I think the most excellent place and situation thus far was a crazed round of dry humping, oral, and anal in a park. I innocently ask for a back massage and laid on my stomach. Since my ass is amazing, he naturally decides to bare it, kiss and then rub his cock against it. We then proceed to happily fuck in the park in the late night gloom. A few people pass by but we’re at the bottom of a slight dip in the landscape so it’s hard to see us. Sprinklers are slowly turning on, so we know we’ve only got about 5 minutes or so before they decide to turn on in our patch of grass. With 2 minutes to spare, he comes. I happily clean him off, and we fix our clothes and cuddle for an hour or so. As if we hadn’t just had the best sexy times ever, we pick up the conversation we’d been having prior about silly things on tumblr and we play games on his phone.
Best relationship ever? Maybe.
::Internet high five:: and a wish for many happy adventures in the future!
I totally just submitted a confession about my boyfriend and I doing it in parks and whatnot, but I just had to brag about the fact that our kinks match up so well.
I idly mentioned that I have a thing for pegging and feminization. He smiles at me and says.
“So, you want to dress me up like a girl, bend me over a table, and make me your bitch?…That sounds good to me.”
::Internet high five:: x9,000 for real.
Quizkids, how I love you. Tell me your tales.