Personae
Here’s a list of the various lovelies, friends, sexual partners, and nemeses from my life that I mention in this blog. Feel free to believe that these are their real given names.
Reginald Sleeth: I dated Reginald from the time I was 18 until age 22, with several breakups in between. I don’t think he’s a very nice person, but realize that my view is biased because he was an abusive prat to me.
Piers Vitiard: Piers Vitiard raped me on our second date.
Aldo Melastophilus: Aldo was the first guy I dated after the final breakup with Reginald, so we really never had a chance. However, we always had fun and remain on good terms. He is a karaoke tour de force.
Hezekiah Glonk: I credit Hezekiah with unknowingly convincing me never to have sex with someone I consider unintelligent again. It just isn’t worth it.
Edwin Pomble: You know how sometimes you start dating someone and you know almost immediately that it’s not going to work out long-term? I tried to ignore that and kept dating Edwin for several years anyway.
Clifton Overmangle: If you think manners are overrated and appreciate rough sex play and ambivalence about vaginas, give Clifton a try. I recommend him highly.
Laramy Fuquerton: Cynical, geeky, and man pretty, Laramy is the proud owner of one of my favorite penises ever. I don’t hate the rest of him either. In fact, I’ve gotten rather fond of him, which is why he’s my boyfriend.
Penelope Svelterwald: Penelope is the first girl I had sex with. She is really, devastatingly easy on the eyes. I’ve never had a sexual encounter that involved so much giggling, which is part of what makes the memory so sweet.