Par. Tay.
My friend Crispin Hijanx selected three women to stand up with him at his wedding. He also selected a woman to marry, cause that’s just what our state is like these days! His best friendships really are with women, and he tends to loathe rigid gender boundaries, so it makes perfect sense for him to have groomschicks. Of course, in terms of the bachelor party I’m not sure if his selection was unfortunate or ingenious.
We groomschicks are determined to throw one hell of a party, but we’re a little handicapped by the fact that none of us has ever been invited to a bachelor party before, so while we know the movie-style ideas of what bachelor parties are “supposed” to be, we don’t have vast libraries of experience to draw from. And Crispin isn’t even interested in “hired strippers”, he says, so we have to get creative from scratch: no strip clubs, no boozing, nothing stereotypical. Did I mention that Crispin hates being stereotypical?
So I’ve been running around like an energy-impaired chicken with its head cut off lately trying to help plan this shindig. It threatens to be pretty fun, too. We’ve had lots of good ideas that reek of Crispin, but there’s one that makes me especially nervous. See, not too long ago, one of Crispin’s friends was getting married and he, along with a few other male friends, agreed to strip for her bachelorette party. I don’t think it’s mere happenstance that Crispin has mentioned this factoid about three thousand and six times since his engagement.
When you get to the point where you realize that one of your oldest close friends is asking you to take your clothes off in honor of his impending nuptials, what do you do, punk? In light of the fact that I’m terribly naked shy, my solution is to start with many clothes and end up with significantly fewer, but still some.
In stripping, is it still the thought that counts?
Personally, I think strippers are too much like work. If I want to see naked people, I can just go and unzip a body bag. Of course, a lot of the ones in the freezer are old, or hit by trucks, but I digress. Ahem.
The best bachelor party I ever went to was in Harvard Square. We all went out to dinner, went to a comedy club, and then had Scorpion Bowls at a Chinese restaurant. We were going to then go and hijack the USF Constitution, and embark on a career of piracy, but a 44 gun square rigger takes more than a dozen drunks to run and she was in drydock at the time, and wasn’t going anywhere. God knows what the Navy would have done if they’d caught us.
So, you know, have a good time with friends and do what you like together. There is no need for stripping or hedonistic excess–unless, of course, that’s your bag. Then go for it.
Somehow I missed the bachelor party when I got married, sound like the one you’re throwing for your friend would have been right up my alley.
To answer the stripping point — some of the best strip shows I’ve seen were ruined at the end because the dancer took off the last bits of clothing. I’m rather more turned on by the tiniest of mysteries, than by the facts I suppose.
It seems to me that a lot depends on the general environment you and each of your friends have created. Perhaps in your circle, indirectly asking you to strip at his bachelor party is OK. For most friendships, this would be grossly inappropriate. It’s inappropriate for your case exactly because you are terribly naked-shy, but presumably he doesn’t know that. It’s something you could explain beforehand, like when he tells the story of how he agreed to strip for the bachelorette party, you could say how you could never strip all the way in similar circumstances because of the shyness. I’d strongly recommend letting him know the parameters first, so there won’t be disappointment; it’s likely his mind is running wild with hopes he wouldn’t mention. “She loves toys! Masturbation show?” At least, mine would have been in his place.
For my bachelor party we went to a shooting range and rented a full-auto MP5, then went for steaks. I loved it, but it’s obviously not for everyone, and doesn’t have that “last chance for X before marriage” theme.
Might a lightly clothed fake-sex burlesque be more comfortable for you and your friends? Fake cunnilingus, strap-on fellatio, fake doggy-style between thighs, fake orgasms kind of stuff? I’d expect it to go over very well, though the no-nude hinting would still be recommended.
It seems somehow unfair that you would be expected to strip for him because he stripped for someone else. If you’re into it, have fun, but you sound more obligated than enthused in this post.
“Nothing stereotypical” is a super tall order. Maybe you should just take him at his word and… hm. Rent one of those bouncy castles from a party supply place. Get one that’s rated to adult weights. Underwear jumpy castle party!
Underwear jumpy castle party? <> I want a bachelotette party. Hey, maybe I can plan that for our 10 year anniversary LOL
@Holly Pervocracy I want an underwear jumpy castle party NOW!