quizzical pussy

It is a fact both fundamental and under-appreciated: men’s bodies are sexy. The male body is a beautiful, astounding thing, and keeping it healthy is fucking important.

So, because most men (as well as some women) happen to have prostates, before September ends I want to mention that it’s prostate cancer awareness month. Check out Ambulance Driver’s blog to learn about Kilted to Kick Cancer. He’s been promoting it all month by wearing a kilt around town, spotlighting other bloggers doing the same, and raising money for cancer research.

So check that out. And enjoy today’s ConTuesday devoted to penises, prostates, and health!

Did I mention that kilts are sexy too? That’s not even a confession. It’s a fact.

On to the confessions:

Not too far out I guess, but for ME it was…

Told my GF she could fuck me in the ass with a strap-on if she could find one with a small enough dick (had part of my rectum removed due to cancer and just can’t fit much up there). Let her (actually, begged her…) to finger me deep in the ass while she blew me. It was pretty good.

There are smaller dildos specifically for anal play that you can use with strap-on harnesses. For instance, the small version of this Silk dildo is 4 1/2 inches long. Might that work?

I’m a guy of average size (or at least what the internet calls average), and it has never really mattered to me.

R recently bought a realistic dildo (it squirts!) over the internet, and was quite startled by what came in the mail. The thing is -huge-.

Queue a bondage session with my blindfolded girlfriend, who has previously expressed reservations about my size, and was horrified by this thing. I got it out, and after working up to it, inserted – and within short order she had arrived at what was visibly the best orgasm of her life.

Size had always been a nonissue for me, but I do now have a deep desire to be able to do that to her without outside help; I am now insecure where I wasn’t before.

Some kinds of orgasms require props, much like some sports need specific equipment. She’s never going to give you a prostate orgasm with just her pussy, for instance, unless she has a genuinely singular anatomy.

The thing is, you gave her the best orgasm of her life while using an inanimate object. Now go tell Lance Armstrong he’s a loser because his bike’s doing all the work.

I could be happy with my sex life even if I never penetrated my wife again, as long as she still used the strap-on on me. There is nothing like a prostate orgasm. If you’re too uncomfortable with your sexuality to try it, I pity you.

Prostate orgasms are reportedly so awesome that I can really only curse my horrible luck being born a woman and try to content myself with the six or seven types of orgasms I actually get to have.

Also, I sincerely hope your wife is as into strap-on play as you are if you ever seriously consider making that your only sexual staple.

Last Friday I fucked this girl I’ve been scheming on. It wasn’t very good and afterwards I wished I hadn’t. She had a thin-lipped pussy, which I thoroughly licked (licked, not LIKED, as I like pussies with big fat flappy lips). She required that I wear a condom and then didn’t even blow me afterwards. She hadn’t fucked in 3 yrs, so now of course she is all in love and shit, even though prior to fucking she just said all she wanted was a hard cock, not a boyfriend.

In point of fact, this girl is smart to insist on a condom. Your sexual health benefits from it as does hers. But you probably already know that.

Good luck finding lusher lips, my friend.

I was just diagnosed with cancer and for the first time it truly depresses me that I may die a virgin… and soon. The closest I ever came was sending a woman(?) I “met” online a photo of my dick, and she said it was “a perfect cock”. I printed out that chat transcript and kept it folded up in my wallet for months.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this illness. I sincerely wish you a speedy and decisive recovery, and plenty of fucking in the immediate and distant future for you and your perfect cock!

Do you have a confession?

(image source)

Today’s ConTuesday theme is updates. One cool thing about ConTuesday is that a lot of confessors are also readers who stick around, and comment, and update. It’s like serialized sex secrets!

If you, gentle readers, can figure out which past ConTuesdays hold the original confessions and link to them in the comments you will deserve a very special, sexy prize.

That does not mean you’ll get a prize, but by gum you’ll deserve it.

I wrote a confession a few days ago (not yet posted), about being the best my girlfriend has ever had, and I guess I’ve been pondering on that ever since. There are some expressions of self-doubt and uncertainty there, of insecurity – they’re genuine.

I don’t have enough experience to know whether I’m genuinely good or if she’s just saying that, and while she’ll tell me when what I’m doing is doing anything for her (if I ask), I do not know if she’d tell me if I were actually being bad in bed.

I could deal with being told I’m competent, or bad; I can improve on things if I know what I’m doing wrong. The ceaseless praise, however, has me totally off-balance, and counterintuitively leaves me in a state of more self-doubt than criticism would. If there were criticism mixed in with the praise, I’d know for certain (or more certainly) that the praise is genuine.

I’m not generally a self-doubting person, either; this is my sole realm of insecurity, perhaps instilled after my first relationship, in which the girlfriend in question continued to assert my qualities even while breaking up with me. (No, I am not a nice guy, in fact I do not believe in niceness. I am reliable and honest, however.)

How many people are in a state of self-doubt because they’re not being told they’re doing something wrong? Seems weird.

I probably wouldn’t tell a man that he was bad in bed; I freely admit that. I also wouldn’t tell him he was the best I’d ever had if he was bad in bed. That would be like, forgive the crude comparison, giving my dog a treat for chewing up my thong. Either kind, really.

Have some faith in yourself. In her.

I’m the gal who resolved to have anal sex with her boyfriend this year. Well! We got a butt plug and have used that and fingers weekly (or biweekly) for a while. Every time he would try to insert his dick, though, was met with immense pain from my rectum.

Last weekend, after an incredibly hot fucking using the butt plug in my ass and his cock in my pussy, he asked to try again. It…was underwhelming. He remarked that my ass felt very similar to my cunt, but smoother. I just preferred the way things were, with cock in my pussy and silicone in my ass.

Maybe my lackluster response was due to the fact that I had already orgasmed? Or perhaps I need to use that (condomed) plug in my pussy for the stimulation I’ve come to enjoy?

But at least it didn’t hurt!

For some people, anal might never not hurt. They might even enjoy it, but there will always be some pain (in fact, I might well be one of these people, but one never knows what the future holds). So you’ve got a pain-free anal session going for you! Have you made more progress? Maybe we need another update.

Some time ago I confessed about a dream I had in which I was having a three way with my girlfriend and someone else. I am not used to flirting with and fooling around with someone else that I am not in a relationship with, it was never something I did. Today we had a friend over and had some fun. We didn’t ”go all the way” but we did have a fun time with each other’s bodies. It was our first time doing it together so we took it slow and easy. Seeing my girlfriend passionately kiss another girl and then have them both take turns doing so with me was mind blowing. I spent a good portion of the time thinking I was going to wake up from a dream that I didn’t want to stop. We ended up spending close to two or three hours just feeling, touching, and kissing each other. I am now eagerly waiting for the next time we all get together because now were used to each other and can have even more fun. After it was all done I am not regretting it in th e least and I find I love my girlfriend even more. So I guess thanks QP, you kind of made this all possible, it was a dream come true.

So glad it has worked out for you so far!

So…I wrote a confession before, well two actually, about the boyfriend with the beautiful penis. And then the boyfriend who made me have faith again in humanity and you said that if he would like to offer any tips then to share them? Well he did. http://southeastsexandsanity.blogspot.com/2011/05/orgasmsrus.html I might be biased but it really worked for him/me.

There’s obviously no one-size-fits-all method for being good at sex, but damn, that sounds pretty good to me. I’m also really enjoying his blog, so he should definitely keep posting. Or else… well, nothing. I just like it is all.

Got a secret of a sexual bent? Submit it here and read it later. Highly gratifying!

When I think of things I’ve wanted my entire life, the word “adventure” seems to come up a lot. I think deep down I’ve always wanted to captain a pirate ship in a sea populated by mermaids and monsters.

I used to define the perfect partner as someone who wanted to have adventures with me, and who made them better just being a part of them.

Now, generally, having a small fraction of the energy a healthy person has, it’s hard for me to get too ambitious and exotic. I have to carefully ration energy for everything I do. But trying something new is pretty much always, always worth the drain.

It does not hurt if there are orgasms involved.

I spent last night making out with and tickle-fighting my gay best friend and a mutual female friend (who, like me, IDs as straight). It was my first threeway play and my first time kissing another woman, and it was awesome! Not horny or romantic, just all friendsy and fun and biting and tickling and kissing. His housemates had to have heard us shrieking.

This is exactly how I imagine mermaids behaving. Yar.

My boyfriend loves my ass. I’ve never delved much into anal play before him, but I’m enjoying it… or maybe it’s the multiple orgasms he gives me before the anal play, which certainly eliminate any chance of tensing up.

Sometimes, while he’s got me bent over, he’ll reach into the Fun Drawer for some lube and start playing while he’s fucking me.

Last night, after a session of that, he turned to me and said ”It was just there, and it looked so good….”

I of course responded with ”So, you’re saying that my ass is like Everest?”

I think I love you. Because you’re awesome.

So I am a 21-year-old, relatively good-looking, frighteningly-intelligent, incredibly boring male, to the extent that I’ve never managed to keep a girlfriend interested for more than 3 months. Nor have I managed to get laid with a girlfriend, girl at a party, etc.

(It’s not that I can’t converse for hours on end about almost any subject. I’m just quite apathetic about almost everything.)

Instead, my entire sexual history consists of 2 visits to a bordello in Berlin.

The first time was… okay. While the prostitute was really nice (and gorgeous), I had no clue what I was doing. In addition, being significantly larger than the average male, the normal-size condom was cutting off my circulation something fierce, and I just couldn’t stay hard. All in all, I exhausted myself pounding away for an hour and a half.

Yesterday, I visited again. Much better. I specifically asked for a magnum condom right off the bat–she waffled around a bit, the whole ”you’ll be fine with a normal,” at which point I mentioned that I’m 8.5”. She got one.

Also, she was REALLY horny. As in, soaking when she stripped her panties off. We started off with mutual oral, and she stopped several times because I was somehow actually getting her off! She kindly thanked me for my consideration.

We did the typical missionary, doggy, and her-on-top missionary, and during the lattermost I managed to bring her off twice more (NOTHING feels better than a woman cumming around your penis), and ended up with a lake on my stomach from her enthusiasm! Sadly, my staying power–who’s heard of a noob who doesn’t shoot off at the drop of a hat?–meant that I didn’t cum before the hour and a half was up. I played it off as ”yeah, I usually go for hours on end. No worries!”

I found that interesting. Maybe if you choose to date in future you could lead with that? On second thought, that might be more of a third date conversation…

She spontaneously put her finger in my ass, and I liked it some, despite my faint inate phobias. But it rubbed it raw. To do this again, I’m going to have to ask her to use lube or even a device or gloves. And that’s just planning out anal exploration a bit more than I think that I can openly do, and still be a straight man.

Yes, I’m completely aware of how stupid this sounds.

You don’t sound stupid. You sound scared. And with the tons of shame piled on guys if they don’t adhere to demoralizingly rigid standards, it’s not surprising.

But pretty near every man alive has a prostate. So don’t think for a second that you’re alone.

Have adventures to brag about? You know I want them.

It was probably ten years ago at this point, or nearly. Reginald Sleeth, the ex boyfriend by which all my other ex boyfriends come out looking pretty good, and I were sitting in a little sushi bar in Santa Monica. If we were between fights it was no more than a momentary break in the clouds, and the sun was not peeking through. The mood was heavy. Pop music played in the background. Our conversation was stuck at lull as we waited for our food to come out. I listened to the music for a minute, nothing to say.

“I kind of always knew I’d end up your ex girlfriend,” I announced calmly.

“Why would you even say that?” he demanded, angry. “That’s not fair at all. What a disgusting thing to say.”

“Ummm the No Doubt song that’s playing? Right now? Those are the lyrics.” Given, it wasn’t exactly the height of comedy to repeat the words to the song playing, but I thought it’d lighten the mood or something. Nope.

“Oh.” Icy.

To be fair, we were basically always on the verge of breaking up. It was probably in poor taste. But I guess on some level I did, kind of always know. Just like the song says. Maybe I meant it.

Here are some confessions that feature exes.

My ex boyfriend is internet famous, and rightly so because he’s talented… annoyingly so. We still get along okay, I consider him a friend. But guys my type ALWAYS turn out to be humongous fanboys of his. After we have the past relationships talk they have a million questions and want me to introduce them. So I either have to lie or live with the fact that I’m less interesting to heterosexual men than my ex boyfriend.

I figure for every fanboy you’re attracted to, there’s a similar, also-your-type guy who thinks your ex is just a little overrated. Unless your type is specifically your ex’s worshippers, which honestly would be worrisome for those of us that care about you and want you to move on.

Also, you realize you can skip over all identifying information when you have that past relationships talk, right?

I had sex with my ex (who is dating someone else) and it was fantastic. I missed fisting him!

I don’t know if this is in a sneaky or ethically open context, but either way it never ceases to amaze me that people can fit fists in their butts.

My boyfriend got drunk tonight and kicked me out of his house. I don’t even know what I did and he wouldn’t tell me — said he didn’t like me anymore — I was asleep and he sat me up roughly, sent me outside, called a cab and gave me 40 bucks to pay for it.

At least he was a gentleman enough to give me some cash for the cab. I called a dealer I used to know, bought some awesome coke, and don’t feel the least big guilty about the drugs because all I feel right now is peace and understanding — and I know that it’s over once and for all. I don’t even feel sad. It’s just over.

And here’s the sex part — I’m going to keep fucking him. Best sex I’ve ever had, and I’m not about to give that up. I’m just not going to be emotionally involved anymore. I’ve given up a lot of offers for sex while I’ve been with him — and it hasn’t been a sacrifice — but I’m going to start looking up those offers and offer him FWB. He’ll take me up on it, and I’ll have great sex with him, variety, and none of this bullshit anymore.

Yay. Thanks for the high dood. I’ll be calling you next time I’m hard up.

Every time I’ve ever had a no-strings-attached arrangement with an ex there were oh so many strings attached. But that’s just me.

Who the fuck wakes someone up just to dump them?

We only had sex once, it was bad bad bad because we didn’t know what we were doing because we were so young, and I got pregnant (miscarriage). But I think about my first love every single day. I miss him.

But I know for a fact that he wasn’t a good person, and he’d probably treat me like shit if I tried to get him back. Yet I pine.

Not to make assumptions here, but have you talked to someone about how having that miscarriage affected you? Maybe your first love, who sounds like a much better ex than a boyfriend, is more or less incidental to this story.

A couple of weeks ago I confessed that I missed my exes beautiful penis (not the size one) well I’ve found a new man who may not have the world’s most beautiful penis but uses it better than anyone I have ever met. I have had my faith in the world restored, and also think I may be the luckiest girl alive.

The original confession appears here. I’m very glad you’ve found a penis (or at least a penis user) that you can get excited about again.

Also, if this new guy would like to offer any sex tips to my penis-using readers, that would be just super.

Health update: Still sick. My body’s being a total wanker, and we’re in a major fight right now. If anyone wants to trade and become a mediocre eighties movie, let me know. If not, I’ll see if I can’t scare up some magical powers on my own and use them to become the most popular girl in school.

In other news, here are those anonymous sex confessions you were looking for, since it’s Tuesday and all.

I’m stoked that two of my secrets have been first on ConTuesdays. I just wish I could tell someone else.

Three of them, actually! And this one’s semi-safe to admit.

She came over to tell me in person that she was leaving me for him, who paid her more attention. In our goodbye kiss, I lay her across the hood of his car, which she had driven over, and finger-fucked her in the street where she had parked it. It was late afternoon. Anyone could have seen.

When she drove away, I knew that she was struggling not to go back inside with me. I knew that I was missing out on someone great. I *should* have paid more attention to her. But I will have to admit a certain once-in-a-lifetime smugness that this time, I was the bad boy, and she wanted me for it.

Is it the ignoring part that makes someone a bad boy, or the having sex in public on top of other people’s possessions part? Or a combination thereof? I desperately want to be a bad boy, and I can never figure out how to pull it off. Help!

I refuse to roll cigarette packs in my t-shirt sleeve, if that’s what it takes.

Bless me, QP, for I have sinned.

I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.
These days I’m doing so much I shouldn’t be, I’ve started my own page for confessing my various peversions, experiments and sexual (occasionally mis)adventures.

weonlycametodance.blogspot.com . Whether you post this or not I feel that you reading it somehow absolves me, and the more people do the more I can pretend I do these things as research and not because I’m a dirty slut.

I did go in a proper confession booth once but it was at a fetish club and I’m saving that story for now.

Every sin is its own blessing, don’t you think? At least when there are orgasms involved. And should not there always be orgasms involved? Otherwise why bother figuring out how the hell to be a bad boy, right?

My lover is a conventionally attractive man. Tall, muscular and with a strong jaw. His normative good looks and physical strength make me uncomfortable as well as turn me on. During sex we sometimes role play where I turn him into different animals or alien creatures. Nothing makes me giggle as hard or feel more in control than watching a 6’3, huge guy transform into an oinking, ridiculous little piglet, stuffing different plugs into his bottom at my behest.

Two things:

1. I cannot read this without seeing it in my mind’s eye. It is impossible to even try.
2. In my mind’s eye, you two use this. May not be true, but it’s what I see.

I’m glad you two are having fun, conventionally attractive or not. I love role playing. Maybe it’s the theater geek in me.

Now, gentle reader, spill your secrets.

 

…it was just hiding in Wednesday all along.

I failed in my duties as secret keeper this week. Bacon got the best of me. Long story.

So here’s ConTuesday, one day late. Enjoy the secrets, enjoy the scandal, all nicely aged an extra day.

My ex convinced me to let him fuck my ass, but I never quite enjoyed it… Now I have a new boyfriend and the most AWESOME anal orgasms… I guess you should try everything twice, otherwise I really would have missed out :-)

I think I know exactly what you mean! I didn’t really know I liked anal sex until two factors were in place: Laramy and lube. Before that, I only had this vague feeling that I could like it if it didn’t hurt so much.

I rang in the New Year with three spectacularly loud and enthusiastic fuck-sessions, after having pretty bad dry spells in 2010. I also had my first orgasm with a partner using fingers only and it was AWESOME.

I have to say, I think fingering is massively underrated. At least, fingering me is. Everyone’s mileage always varies, of course, because of snowflakes.

Now that it’s March, I feel it’s the perfect time to examine the direction the new(ish) year seems to be going in. So I’m hoping that is shaping up to be the ultimate anti-dryspell for you!

I pee in containers in my bedroom. Usually Tupperware or the trashcan. The bathroom door is like two feet outside my bedroom and my roommate doesn’t hog it or anything. I throw out the pee within a day or two so my room doesn’t get too pee-y. I guess I just like the feeling of peeing in something that’s not a toilet. It makes me feel so gross though.

There are much worse habits. I have to level with you, though: I don’t get the appeal at all. I mean, personally, I feel like pee is too pee-y immediately.

You asked for New Year sexual resolutions, so here goes: I resolve to have sex at least once a month.

Given that I’m in a long-term, non-long-distance, committed relationship, and we both love sex, the fact that this is even an issue is sad.

Why, why, why is it an issue? I ask because as someone who loves sex, and is in a relationship with someone who loves sex, I would feel very forlorn needing to make this resolution. In fact, I’d like to avoid getting to that point. No offense meant here. I really, really hope you’re sticking to this one.

After being roughly paddled and fucked at a kinky party last night to the NIN song ’Closer,’ I feel like my life has reached new levels of ludicrous and awesome.

I definitely want to start going to more (or any) kinky parties. Ludicrous, awesome, here I come.

Have a secret to share? Want to see it posted here for all to see, none to know? Send it in. It might even show up here on a Tuesday, of all preposterous notions!

In honor of Valentine’s day, I’m featuring confessions that mention couplehood, which can be awesome or, you know, not always quite so much.

I am married to a beautiful, strong-willed and independent woman, who I love also because of these qualities and want to grow old with. I was raised to respect woman and consider myself a feminist man. This is important part.
The sex is good (up and down), but i have a dirty fantasy.
I want to have a full day with her, naked and dressed in all kinds of slutty clothing, at my calling as my slut where she does anything and everything what i want. And she likes doing all this.
I want to come home, order her to get on her knees and have her blow me and let me come in her mouth and over her face. Treat her like i never would.
Then, the next day, the roles will be completely reversed and i do everything she tells me.
After this weekend, we go home like nothing happened.

I can’t for the life of me think what’s stopping you! At least from talking about this. So doable, and so many women would be into it. Go go go have awesome sex!

I am really, really curious about my boyfriend’s number. I don’t care about numbers and I’m don’t judge people based on them, but I do like to know. Mine is pretty high, especially for my age. He is older than me, has lived in New York for longer, and is a bartender so I’m sure his is higher than mine.

I am so, so curious. And I really don’t want to ask him.

I have no ideas for this other than a very cheesy “I dreamed we compared numbers, and you’d slept with like 200 people before me. I was a little aroused, actually…” and see how he reacts, hoping he coughs up the number voluntarily. This is probably completely transparent, but if I couldn’t bring myself to ask it’s very likely the way I’d go with it.

My boyfriend gave me a magic wand for the winter holidays and I just used it for the first time about 20 seconds ago. It was AWESOME. Easiest orgasm ever! I feel great, but my vagina is a little tingly.

They are legend for a reason.

This year I resolve to get into buttplay, with the end goal of letting my boyfriend fuck me in my girly butt. He’s been very politely asking for this for about a year now. So far we’ve done some asscheek fucking and I’ve realized that pressure against my anus feels great. But I’ve balked at any sort of penetration. Our next step is for him to finger my ass (inside a condom or glove) during oral.

Wish me luck!

Good luck! Going slowly with butt play/sex greatly increases the chances that you’ll like it. Any updates?

I wound up in bed with another girl at a party the other night. We mostly just kissed, and I got to lick her pussy a bit (wonderful!). My boyfriend was really, really angry at me. All 3 of us had wound up in bed at first, and she was kissing him, then he left and came back to find us making out. He’s still angry at me. The thing is, I wanted it to be a threesome, not a twosome between me and her, and I also found it incredibly, incredibly hot. I’m really struggling with my desire to be sexual with women and the fact that my boyfriend isn’t down with it at all. But…licking her pussy was one of my favorite sexual things I did all year. It was totally awesome. God.

The classic bisexual’s conundrum. I mean, I know it’s completely counterproductive to feed the assumption that all bisexuals (and you may identify as pansexual, queer, etc. so just know that I’m not trying to undermine that; just picking a term) want more than one partner, but…um… a lot of us do.

My boyfriend is into orgasm denial and telling me when I may or may not have one. Normally I find it really hot, but right now I’m really angry at him so I’m going to masturbate all day and not ask for permission once.

What’s the fun in being a sub unless you can be bratty once in a while? Maybe actual subs can tell me, but I can’t imagine never breaking the rules.

Got a confession? Send it in here. Think of it as a belated V-day present to the internet.

ConTuesday! Anonymous secrets. Fresh from my online form to my email to you. Well, they may have sat a little. To age. Like wine, you see…

My best friend recently got involved in the kink scene thanks to me. I introduced her around, brought her to a few kinky events- and I regret it so much. She is a perfect 10, smart, funny, GORGEOUS!!! Now I feel like all the guys and girls who were once interested in me now turn towards her and I hate it. I feel like I can’t say anything though because she is my best friend. I love her and I am glad she is so accepting of me and my kinks, but sometimes I wish I had just left her in her vanilla world so I didn’t have to share my kinky friends/potential play partners with her.

I feel for you, so hard, honey. You are basically living my nightmare, especially because it would feel all-too familiar to be passed over for a “shinier” friend. Is it at all possible, though, that you’re letting yourself get psyched out and ending up sabotaging your conquests because you feel threatened? You might be a lot more enticing than you think, even next to your superthreat friend.

My fantasy is I would like to be fucking
one girl, while I am finger fucking another
girl and also sucking the tits of another girl. And while all this is going on I want
other girls playing with my ass and my tits. Then when we finnish, I want to start all over again with a different set of girls. This fantasy is impossible but HOT.

Nothing is impossible. They’re just varying degrees of improbable. Admittedly, this could be perpetual-motion-machine improbable, depending on several variables.

See, this is why I wish we had holodecks!

Since fisting had always felt like it’d be this huge undertaking, requiring so much time, effort, and patience, it was almost anticlimactic when his fist fit up in me so (relatively) easily. Almost.

But was it awesome? I hear it’s awesome.

I’ve got a bit of an anal fettish, but my wife has not really been into it. She’s tried some stuff with me but with very limited success on her end, so I haven’t really pushed the issue. However, last night I was licking her clit and working her pussy with a vibrator when she asked me to shove it in her ass and fuck her. So I did. And she made the most wonderful orgasm screams. It was freaking awesome! Crap, I got hard just typing that out.

…and possibly just now reading it!

Any deep, dark, dirty secrets? Give em here.

ConTuesday! It is beyond, and by that I mean below, freezing where I live. I’m sick of winter. I decided to drain my battery yesterday using my amazing powers of stupidity and vacancy. You know what’ll cheer me up? Reading your dirty secrets. Yes.

This summer I met a guy at a music festival. The first night he danced near me and I could tell he was watching me, but didn’t have the guts to come up to me. Just as I was getting ready to leave, he walked over and introduced himself. I told him my name and walked away. The whole next day, I kept running into him and teasing him. By the evening, he had worked up the courage to dance with me. After the music ended, we went for a walk that ended in fucking under a tree by the local soccer field. He had the biggest dick I have ever had the pleasure of fucking. We moved from the tree to the picnic table, to the grass, to the chain link fence. It was the best public sex I have ever had. I couldn’t help but laugh the next day when I saw people eating lunch on the picnic table! When I went home to my husband the next day, my pussy was still sore from that night.

Note to self: attend more music festivals.

My significant other, to whom I am committed, simply does not come close to meeting my sexual needs. Of course I masturbate. But it’s not enough.

I consider making overtures to a friend, who has the same situation.

My S.O. has said, when speaking in generalities: ”If you have sex with someone else, I don’t ever want to find out about it.” Tacit approval?

My friend’s S.O. has basically said, when speaking in generalities: ”No.”

Half of my reason for not approaching my friend is my fear of rejection. The other half is my old-fashioned concerns about ”cheating.” (I never have.)

You just reminded of that three-part series on sex starvation in relationships that I was planning to write, and damned if I didn’t write only two. I’ll be addressing that soon.

Quite a few Thanksgivings ago, my wife and I watched an episode of HBO’s Real Sex that included a segment about women anally penetrating their men. My wife asked me if I’d like to try it, I tried to brush it off with a ”maybe” but the seed was planted in my perverted mind. Now all I want her to do is to take control and fuck me with a strap-on, but she wants me to lead the way on our endeavor. I’ve told her that I want it. I’ve purchased latex gloves and a sex toy for anal play. She will play with my asshole while I lick her pussy. But I’m frustrated that I have to make all the moves when I want her to dominate me. I want her to make me her slut. I understand that starting anal play involves communication, but I want to feel like her toy. I’m so frustrated.

Communication and feeling like a toy aren’t mutually exclusive. If you ease her into pegging you by initiating and walking her through it, she’ll have a chance to get comfortable with it on her own terms. Then you can start vividly describing how she’d take charge in your fantasies and take baby steps toward that. She might find a dominant top deep within somewhere along the way, or might at least learn to fake it once in a while as a special treat.

In my mind, this plan is going to work flawlessly. Good luck!

You know how they say an icicle is the best murder weapon, because the evidence melts away? Its also the best dildo when your mother is not only super conservative, but isn’t shy about searching your room. I found the pleasure of female ejaculation with a hunk of ice and an electric toothbrush.

Laramy, who looked over my shoulder a bit as I compiled this week’s ConTuesdy, says he can’t get the image of licking a frozen metal pole out of his mind. I really hope using an icicle as a dildo is nothing like that. Absolutely nothing.

Affordable electric toothbrushes seem like a godsend to young women who don’t have easy, discreet access to sextoys. Glad you’re having fun.

Send your sex secrets here. It’s anonymous and it’s highly gratifying.

I’m aware that it’s only Tuesday, but by gum it’s been a long week. All I really want to do at the moment is fuck and sleep and fuck. In that order. So I’m doing this quickly, so I can get down to the one or the other. Preferably the both.

Any typos I make will be ignored until later, when I surreptitiously edit them and hope you didn’t notice.

Here are some confessions from the denizens of the internet!

I just bought my first vibrator yesterday! Its awesome!

I know, right?

Tonight, I lost my having-penis-in-vagina-virginity in a threesome. I’m not attracted to him or his girlfriend, and feel a little smug in having been the most attractive person in the room. They did it to ”spice up that side of their relationship.” I didn’t think it would affect me, but I feel… funny. A little depressed. It wasn’t very good at all, and from this point forward I will refer to this guy as turtlepenis, because it was hiding in its shell–didn’t even stick out–when he pulled his pants off. And now I wonder what having (penis-in-vagina) sex with someone I’m actually attracted to is like.

I’ve had sex with people I’m insanely attracted to and I’ve had sex with people I’m not-so-attracted to. I have to say, the former wins. Hands down.

It’s wrong to snoop. But that friend’s bedside drawer only takes a second to open and then close. Am I the only one who’s done this? I don’t look in bathroom medicine cabinets. I don’t look in checkbooks. I don’t go stand outside windows and look at people. But here, in this dark room of anonymity, I’ll confess that I’ve been a repeat offender at looking through bedside drawers and in sock drawers to see sex toys (I don’t handle them). I’ll tell you, something: I’ve almost NEVER been wrong, and I’ve got a weird sense of where the toy[s] will be hidden.

Usually my thinking goes: ”I knew it! Good for her/him!”

I would be very surprised if you were the only one who does this. How about it, gentle readers? Have you peeked? I have not, but my friends and I tend to talk about sex toys so there’s really no need.

I just had the urge to share with the web that relationships do get a second and even third creative sexual wind. After 19 years of togetherness me and my wife have just given anal a go (and she loved it to both our surprices) and are considering a threesome – so were there is love there is hope!

I’m not even kidding when I say that this confession makes me feel a whole lot better about the world. Thanks!

Confess! It’s not too late!