quizzical pussy

The other key, of course, is Pong.

If someone with a not too terribly impressive amount of judgment were to come to me and ask, face so straight and tone so earnest: “Quizzical Pussy, what’s the key to a good relationship?” my first priority would be to not snort while I was doing all the laughing. Really, the “I Make Wonderful Romantic Decisions, And In Case You Were Wondering, Yes, That’s Sarcasm” sash I was awarded in 2004 didn’t win itself.

And then I’d be tempted to say “blind luck” because that’s certainly how I’ve landed in the one I’m in. But then I’d give my real answer.

Inside jokes.

Yes, love and trust and patience. Absolutely. And fabulous sex usually doesn’t hurt either. But it’s harder to quantify those first three things, and sometimes even tricky to detect when they’re fading away. And the sex? It’s possible to have fabulous sex with someone you actively dislike.

But if you’re always laughing together at things that would elicit shrugs and eyebrow twitches from all the rest of humanity, you have this secret language. You’re each choosing to be in closed, joyous company, which in my experience is the last thing you want when you’re fundamentally unhappy with each other. In essence, inside jokes are an old magic that transports you to the island nation of Us, a place of moderate climate and ruthless border control. You are never dragged to Us, although you can often convince the other person you’re already there just by smiling and nodding politely. But there will still be an ocean between you.

And this isn’t just romantic relationships. Not at all. I never feel like I’m fully friends with someone until we have at least one inside joke together. We’re just on the shore, friendly together but sharing no homeland.

Maybe this is just me. I could be biased by the amazing sex Laramy and I had yesterday between spates of laughing at things that are sheer nonsense to everyone else. I could be placing too much value on laughter for this to apply to anyone but me. But that would be my answer anyway.

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Today’s ConTuesday theme is updates. One cool thing about ConTuesday is that a lot of confessors are also readers who stick around, and comment, and update. It’s like serialized sex secrets!

If you, gentle readers, can figure out which past ConTuesdays hold the original confessions and link to them in the comments you will deserve a very special, sexy prize.

That does not mean you’ll get a prize, but by gum you’ll deserve it.

I wrote a confession a few days ago (not yet posted), about being the best my girlfriend has ever had, and I guess I’ve been pondering on that ever since. There are some expressions of self-doubt and uncertainty there, of insecurity – they’re genuine.

I don’t have enough experience to know whether I’m genuinely good or if she’s just saying that, and while she’ll tell me when what I’m doing is doing anything for her (if I ask), I do not know if she’d tell me if I were actually being bad in bed.

I could deal with being told I’m competent, or bad; I can improve on things if I know what I’m doing wrong. The ceaseless praise, however, has me totally off-balance, and counterintuitively leaves me in a state of more self-doubt than criticism would. If there were criticism mixed in with the praise, I’d know for certain (or more certainly) that the praise is genuine.

I’m not generally a self-doubting person, either; this is my sole realm of insecurity, perhaps instilled after my first relationship, in which the girlfriend in question continued to assert my qualities even while breaking up with me. (No, I am not a nice guy, in fact I do not believe in niceness. I am reliable and honest, however.)

How many people are in a state of self-doubt because they’re not being told they’re doing something wrong? Seems weird.

I probably wouldn’t tell a man that he was bad in bed; I freely admit that. I also wouldn’t tell him he was the best I’d ever had if he was bad in bed. That would be like, forgive the crude comparison, giving my dog a treat for chewing up my thong. Either kind, really.

Have some faith in yourself. In her.

I’m the gal who resolved to have anal sex with her boyfriend this year. Well! We got a butt plug and have used that and fingers weekly (or biweekly) for a while. Every time he would try to insert his dick, though, was met with immense pain from my rectum.

Last weekend, after an incredibly hot fucking using the butt plug in my ass and his cock in my pussy, he asked to try again. It…was underwhelming. He remarked that my ass felt very similar to my cunt, but smoother. I just preferred the way things were, with cock in my pussy and silicone in my ass.

Maybe my lackluster response was due to the fact that I had already orgasmed? Or perhaps I need to use that (condomed) plug in my pussy for the stimulation I’ve come to enjoy?

But at least it didn’t hurt!

For some people, anal might never not hurt. They might even enjoy it, but there will always be some pain (in fact, I might well be one of these people, but one never knows what the future holds). So you’ve got a pain-free anal session going for you! Have you made more progress? Maybe we need another update.

Some time ago I confessed about a dream I had in which I was having a three way with my girlfriend and someone else. I am not used to flirting with and fooling around with someone else that I am not in a relationship with, it was never something I did. Today we had a friend over and had some fun. We didn’t ”go all the way” but we did have a fun time with each other’s bodies. It was our first time doing it together so we took it slow and easy. Seeing my girlfriend passionately kiss another girl and then have them both take turns doing so with me was mind blowing. I spent a good portion of the time thinking I was going to wake up from a dream that I didn’t want to stop. We ended up spending close to two or three hours just feeling, touching, and kissing each other. I am now eagerly waiting for the next time we all get together because now were used to each other and can have even more fun. After it was all done I am not regretting it in th e least and I find I love my girlfriend even more. So I guess thanks QP, you kind of made this all possible, it was a dream come true.

So glad it has worked out for you so far!

So…I wrote a confession before, well two actually, about the boyfriend with the beautiful penis. And then the boyfriend who made me have faith again in humanity and you said that if he would like to offer any tips then to share them? Well he did. http://southeastsexandsanity.blogspot.com/2011/05/orgasmsrus.html I might be biased but it really worked for him/me.

There’s obviously no one-size-fits-all method for being good at sex, but damn, that sounds pretty good to me. I’m also really enjoying his blog, so he should definitely keep posting. Or else… well, nothing. I just like it is all.

Got a secret of a sexual bent? Submit it here and read it later. Highly gratifying!

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