Guest Post: CARSEX (Pt. 3)
For a Monday treat, we have another carfucking review from Model T, vehicular virtuoso. Enjoy! -Q.P.
Chrysler Sebring: Chrysler’s Sebring was not well-received after its second major re-design. Very few cars have been quite so universally disliked by both the automotive media and the buying public, and the third-generation Sebring’s gone now, after just three years on the market. The styling was handsome but forgettable, the interior was a poorly-constructed afterthought and the powertrain would have been impressive…in a car ten years older. The Sebring wasn’t fun to drive, and in truth barely fulfilled its duties as a modern vehicle.
To add insult to injury, A. insisted that the cheap interior plastics emitted a smell she referred to as “soapy pussy.”
The Sebring’s general inadequacy as a family sedan worth $25,000 or so did not stop it from being parked outside yet another club after midnight while we went at it in the back seat, however. Chrysler’s decision to raise the Sebring’s roof compared to the previous model gives the car a slightly gawky look on the road, but also provides enough headroom for doggie-style sex in the back seat. We did it across the car, in deference to the scant rear-seat legroom, but then folded the front passenger seat forward so A. could look out the windshield–directly at the house party that was taking place at the end of the block, as it turned out. The folks on the porch seemed amused.
Summary:
- Arousal: 1/5–The Sebring is actually a rather off-putting car. It doesn’t drive all that well, the interior is cheap, and even its “new-car smell” is kind of nasty.
- Discretion: 2/5–Sebrings are common in the rental fleets, but while it’s a relatively common sight, Chrysler did see fit to jazz up the styling just enough that it stands out at the curb. Additionally, it’s got very tall windows and is easy to see into.
- Comfort: 3/5–Plenty of headroom and a back bench that’s kind of like a cheap loveseat make the Sebring a functional mobile pleasure chamber.
- Best person to hump in this car: That hottie who’s on your flight that was just cancelled, now that you’ve both got an evening to kill in a strange city…
