quizzical pussy

ConTuesday is upon us. Much like Laura Palmer, ConTuesday is filled with secrets.

After I broke up with the hottest-but-craziest woman I will probably ever meet, I started seeing a sweet girl with a pretty smile who I had solidly average sex with. A couple weeks into my new relationship I started talking to hot-but-crazy again. She still wanted me back. I decided to lead her on, hint that I wanted to get back together, and then meet up for a weekend of amazing she’s-desperate/I’m-lying sex. She was ten times better in bed than the sweet girl, and her body was incredible. I don’t regret a minute of that weekend. That Sunday night I told hot-but-crazy that I’d serve her with a restraining order if she ever contacted me again. I changed my number and moved in with my new girlfriend, who I’m going to marry soon.

This is a secret because I can’t say it in a way that isn’t completely shameless bragging. The other day, a new lover with issues surrounding sex (worries about performance, attractiveness, perversion) told me that the best sex he’s ever had has been with me, because I’m so open and easy to talk to. I’ve rarely felt prouder.

There’s a certain place just just just under my clit that if someone rubs after I’ve had a few good orgasms and am feeling relaxed and ready for more, I can have non-stop orgasms until they stop rubbing it. Sometimes I’ll also squirt. No matter how hard I try, I can’t really do it when I’m alone!

Last night, after I licked and sucked my wiife’s clit until she climaxed, she told me “You’re really good at that.” I feel the need to brag, and this is the only place I can of think to do it.

This ConTuesday should serve as a reminder that people everywhere are having awesome sex in a variety of ways. And now, for some more good news: That gum you like is going to come back in style.

Want to confess? Brag? Tell me about the scandalous things you’ve always wanted to do to Sherilyn Fenn? Go here and submit!

(Yeah, I’m in a Twin Peaks mood today. Why do you ask?)