quizzical pussy

Sometimes I have to remind myself not to wonder who’s sending ConTuesday confessions. I mean, of course I can wonder, which is really only natural, but I made a pledge to myself early on not to try to figure out who sent in secrets. First off, it’s a fool’s errand. Although I know a handful of my readers, most are complete strangers. Secondly, the whole point of these are that they’re anonymous. It would be hypocritical of me to try to subvert that, even just through guesswork. After all, getting your dirt in my inbox is a sacred trust.

Well, maybe not sacred. Anyway, through no effort of my own I know exactly who sent in precisely two of the following confessions. But I’m going to try to play it cool, okay? Okay!

I just found a BDSM association in my area (all donations are tax deductible!) and the only thing that comes to my mind when reading their website is: oh my god, you are so adorable!!

If I knew who you were maybe I could figure out where you live and check out this adorable website! But no, I must be strong.

…Or do I know who you are?

No.

So…my boyfriend wants me to eat his poop. He essentially wants to poop in my mouth, and then kiss me, like we are snowballing his poo.

He poops in tupperware containers and puts them in our fridge. I’m afraid he is going to make poop pancakes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s pretty much all I have to say to you, person who I totally don’t know who you are at all.

I have what might be described as an unusual fetish. One of my friends posted a clip of an old kids’ movie on facebook in a fit of nostalgia, and my immediate response was, ”Oh god, must not tell him that clip used to be some serious fetish fuel for me back in my youth…” So I’m telling you instead.

Curiosity overwhelms me right now. I’m not asking, though. I’m not asking.

Hi, it’s Ozy. I used to confess things a lot here, but now I don’t have anything to confess because it all goes on my blog. :( Sorry, sex confessional! I’ll try to think of something really good for you soon.

Your confessions are missed, Ozy. Not that I know which ones were them, at all. Excepting one.

I identify as a switch. I’ve discovered that I prefer to be dominant towards men and submissive towards women. I am in a fairly open poly relationship. My girlfriend is submissive and my boyfriend is dominant. -.-

Sometimes though, I imagine them each as the other one. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t like that so much.

Hey, I’ve been feeling the itch to dominate a bit lately. Maybe if I knew who you were we could… wait. No. Sacred trust.

Seriously, readers, your secrets are safe here. Fascinating and safe.

I’ll bet you came here today looking for a ConTuesday. Am I right? It must be destiny because that’s exactly what I have for you.

She suggested out of the blue that we swap with them. Was I that easy to read? Of COURSE I want to swap with them. I’m all in. I’m somewhat sure that our lady friend would be, too.

But our man friend? Not a chance. Even to ask would be to lose that friend.

Dammit. Three out of four is a super-majority!

It’s a truth that can be devastating, or it can appear bright and pulsing with hope and redemption: sexual adventures are really only as good as the most reluctant participant.

Still, yeah. That’s a frustrating predicament.

I’m not the most overpaid person in the world, so when I was going to buy a vibrator this weekend, I sort of set a ceiling of $50. I came away for the shop having dropped $100 and change for a wiggly pink thing. Tried it out with my Significant Other last night and I was practically levitating every time I was racked with orgasms. I’ve come _a lot_, but never like that. What a fine investment! SO was grinning like a jackal every time he pushed me over the edge again. Yummy.

If you don’t mind, is there any way you can provide a link to this wiggly pink thing? Or even a name? This isn’t for me, mind. It’s for science.

Yesterday I discovered that if you make a girl cum for 7-8 times and don’t cum yourself…well….they’re not happy.

One thing that restores my faith in humanity when things are looking dire is the fact that we pretty much all want to give pleasure. We want to make other people laugh and smile and clap and come. I think that’s fucking beautiful.

It’s not your fault if you can’t come, of course. But this is probably the reason behind your discovery.

I’ve recently started really enjoying role playing daddy/girl scenes…the only problem is I can’t enjoy this with my Master because he already has a girl he enjoys this particular kink with, and I would feel like I was trying to take away something that was special and hers. But I don’t want to do this with just anyone. *sighs*

Have you talked to this other girl about it? Because, though it might not be the case here, I could imagine some little girls wanting a sister. Either way, good luck finding someone to explore with.

By the time this posts, it won’t have much meaning considering I’ll know one way or the other. But getting it out there before I know I think is important.

My boyfriend and I fuck like bunnies. We don’t use condoms but I am on the pill. He is very fertile (and has the babies to prove it) and convinced that I am pregnant right now. I’m one day late with my period, but that is just one day. I don’t think I am pregnant, but secretly maybe kinda sorta wish I was. It would be an awful time to get pregnant, but when is it ever a good time?

I’m hoping for an update on this one, and that you’re happy with whichever outcome you got.

Secrets go here!

One of the first survival skills you learn when you have a chronic illness is how to flake out on people. If you go to every social event or honor every commitment, you are sure to run yourself straight into bed for an uninterrupted month. Hope you enjoy bedpans.

Last night I was supposed to go to a friend’s house to help her watch Heathers, which she’d never seen. Now, there is no valid reason I’m aware of to want to miss a showing of Heathers. But I knew if I went I’d pay for it with more pain and exhaustion than I was willing to handle. So survival skill #1 deployed and I flaked.

My friend and the rest of the viewing party decided I was bailing in order to get laid. Not true. I was bailing in order to lie in bed alone, exhausted and pathetic. But there may have been some masturbating.

Indeed, often there’s masturbating. Observe…

I am female and right-hand dominant, but I can only make myself come with my left hand. Isn’t that strange???

My head once fit through a human cervix (admittedly when it was smaller, but still). Nothing should ever really be strange after that.

Sometimes, when I’m having trouble getting motivated to write a paper or clean the house, I’ll just pop in my little dildo, which gets me hot and bothered, and won’t let myself masturbate until I’ve finished my task. I have, however, been interrupted in the process and only realize I forgot to take it out when I sat down on my grandmother’s sofa.

I stand in awe of your ability to focus on writing papers while there’s a dildo inside you. Seriously.

When ever the house is empty, I grab my secret, specially bought electric toothbrush and loudly masturbate until I’m too dizzy to stand.

Sometimes I think electric toothbrushes were created by kind sex sprites in order to make sure no genitalia is left behind in the orgasm wars.

Tonight I felt decadent and I was home alone… I read your blog and got a bit stirred up. I went into the bedroom, put in my vibrator and that felt really nice. But I’ve always craved DP. Then I thought about the dildo in the drawer, and how neglected it has been since I got this crazy-making vibrator. I lubed up the dildo and slid it in my ass and came like nobody’s business. Now I’m sitting, bare-assed back at the computer and drinking a bottle of champagne. I love you, QP. You and your commenters make me so damned horny.

It’s wonderful knowing that I, along with a far-off vibrator and dildo, have made someone’s day a little brighter. Thank you!

There’s something amusing about the fact that lately, sometimes when I orgasm alone my sacrum realigns. I feel powerful when it happens.

If this ever happens to me I’m going to start telling people I have skeletal orgasms.

Understandably, I think, I really hope it happens.

Now, reader, why don’t you tell me something?

Sometimes I’ll get a confession and think “This doesn’t need to be a secret! It would be pure double rainbows and gumdrop teddy bears if the confessor shared this with their partner. It would bring them closer as a couple and probably even help usher in a new era of collective debauchery and love!

But then there are the times when I’ll read one and think “Anonymity is indeed a beautiful thing.” To wit, “Here we have a secret that’s a secret for a damn good reason.” Not that I’m judging, mind. I obviously have secrets myself; I’m not an anonymous blogger just because I’m afraid of getting too much fan mail. For all you know, one of the following confessions is mine…

I have a very, very small crush on my brother in law, but ever since I watched a thing of polyandry in Tibet, I’m kind of obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship with my husband and his brother both. I’ve been fantasising about it all day, like who snuggles with who when someone gets up first in the morning, and how absolutely freaking awesome it would be to fuck them at the same time.

This one hits fairly close to home for me. My sisters and I fall into the same general physical type, except they’re all much prettier than I am. I’m not being modest by saying this; it is very simply true. Since before anyone even thought about wanting to date me I have lived in terror of learning that a partner wants to fuck my sisters in addition to/instead of me. I can’t even say exactly why, and I will not even pretend it’s rational.  Coming up short in comparisons over the years has made me a little too neurotic, I guess.

I doubt I’m alone on this one. This is why fantasies about siblings, though probably incredibly common, usually belong firmly in the “Excellent anonymous confession, potentially devastating personal admission” category.

Of course, I’m sure there are also people that would love to share a partner with their sibling. Some people didn’t grow up indulging the petty jealousies that I did.

When my ex and I broke up a year and a half ago, he had gotten another girl pregnant in a weird poly experiment gone wrong (where they did not have my consent to be fucking without birth control), he immediately moved in with her, and she had the baby. Then I ended up becoming friends with her, and we would hang out and talk all the time. He and I would secretly dirty txt each other, and he begged me to fuck him again many times, but I always resisted, because I felt I owed it to her to refrain due to our friendship. Then about a month ago, she found a dirty video I sent him and got very upset, and we decided not to be friends anymore. It only took a couple of weeks for me to cave to his pleas, and yesterday we finally got together. He beat the crap out of me with a belt (consensually), and we spent the afternoon fucking. It was awesome. What pushed me over the edge was him telling me about his secret girlfriend that his baby momma doesn’t know about and me getting competitive with her. The bad thing is that I really don’t feel guilty at all. The other bad thing is that I realized that I am still in love with him. To top things off, he wants me to have a threesome with him and his secret GF, and I probably will. What a mess!

The more complicated a sexual situation is, the fewer people you can tell about it without compounding the drama. I just now decided to call this The Circus Tent Rule, because once you invite an audience inside the big top, every act suddenly gets more dangerous: animals are less predictable, nets and safety mechanics that were used in practice may be removed, and jangling nerves come into play. As long as you keep your mess a secret you’re still in dress rehearsal mode, and that can save lives.

Not that helping someone cheat on their partner is okay, but does talking about it ever suddenly make it more okay? One (unsolicited) suggestion, though: When you’re a party to cheating, being extra-vigilant about getting tested for STIs and practicing safer sex is really the least you can do.

It’s probably a bad idea to choose people to stay with while couchsurfing based on how much I want to fuck them…right?

I’m going to be conservative here and guess that 15% of people do exactly that. It’s probably a bad idea to tell people you’re choosing to stay with them while couchsurfing because you want to fuck them, and it’s definitely a bad idea to expect to fuck them. But I don’t think people necessarily do much damage just by wanting to fuck someone. Unless, naturally, that someone is my sister. In which case HOW DARE YOU?

Sadly, my much younger lover has left town and (maybe happily?) my husband has returned. I’m scared to death to have sex with my husband because I want him to do all the things my much younger lover did that turned me on so much but I don’t want him to wonder why I want those things suddenly. QP, do you have any advice on how to ask for new things without arousing suspicion?

Oh, so totally blame the internet. That’s what we’re here for. “I’ve been reading about this and can’t stop thinking about it. Can we try it?”

Do you, my lusty readers, have anything you yearn to tell but need kept secret? There’s a very simple solution!

So, I’ve been thinking. ConTuesday has, to my knowledge, never posted a confession featuring ghosts, werewolves, or Indiana Jones. Am I to suppose, then, that these things don’t exist?

We’ve had one or two about unicorns, though. That’s reassuring.

This week’s confessions:

I had an affair with a married man on a business trip. Emotionally he was just a friend with benefits (I don’t miss him or want more than friendship), but the sex was some of the best I ever had, and I can never tell anyone about how good it was, how sexy he was, how incredible that two-month affair was. God, it was good. I still see him at work, but we mutually agreed it was over and never to be spoken of again.

The most ironic part? He introduced me to his wife after the fact. She’s my best friend. Some days this bugs the shit out of me.

All that guilt, (possibly one-sided) awkwardness, potential drama, and no more best sex ever? Ethics aside, this is why cheating sucks.

So there’s this guy I met online– he lives about half the country away from me, but we really hit it off. We’ve been talking a lot– most of the day– and he’s been really nice, flirtatious, talking about sex, telling me I’m pretty and there aren’t a lot of girls like me. But he’s more experienced than the type of guy I usually go for (i.e. he’s hit on girls before) so I think if he REALLY liked me he would make some kind of move, and maybe he thinks the distance or the fact that we met on the Internet or my polyamory is a dealbreaker. Or maybe he’s this flirtatious with everyone and I’m building it up to be a big deal because I have a crush on him.

I know, I know, just fucking say it, what’s the worst that could happen, right?

He also mentioned a while ago that playing hard-to-get gets one more dates. Is this some kind of hint or something that he wants to chase me? Or is he just making conversation? I suck at hints, why can’t people just talk to each other?

I’m also stymied by the proper asking-someone-out method via the Internet. Do you send an email? Do you do it in chat? Maybe over Skype? (Does he even have Skype?)

Sorry for the marathon confession…

I bet I have a reader or six who have been in this situation, more or less, and perhaps they’ll have suggestions for you.

But really, email, chat, or Skype seems fine for confessing a crush. If I were into you too, I’d get all melty inside no matter which one you used. I doubt I’m alone in that.

So far the only thing I dislike about Roller Derby is that after practice my muscles hurt so much I can’t masturbate properly.

The sacrifices you make for being one of my fetishes! Thank you. A thousand times thank you.

I was watching a documentary featuring animator Nick Park creating a Wallace and Gromit film. It shows him working wtih the clay figures for the stop-motion animation and one little blob of clay was not quite doing what he wanted it to do. He sort of growled at it to ”do as you’re told” and I was instantly *wet*. ”Ooh, make me, Mr. Park. Pretty please?”

I like the way your mind works. That is all.

Have a confession, secret, boast, or lamentation? Give it to me.

Tuesday is, etymologically speaking, sacred to Mars (who was equated with Tīw, the Norse god of combat). Tuesday is also the day sacred to sex secrets. Fact.

The interesting thing here is that Venus was cheating on her husband with Mars, but that wasn’t really a secret at all. I think pretty much everyone knew. Oh, those wacky gods! Here, have a ConTuesday.

I can’t orgasm during intercourse unless I use a vibrator, so I usually introduce the new guy to assisted sex fairly early. So far everyone has been more than accommodating, some have even grown quite fond of ”Bob”, despite the noise. Sometimes I worry I am creating an army of guys who are secretly turned on by the sound of electric toothbrushes and kitchen appliances.

I don’t see a problem here. Toothbrushes can be sexy.

I’m pregnant. Lately, every time we have sex, pre-milk comes out of my nipples. I’m not sure if this is really a confession, since I think this happens to a lot of pregnant/nursing women, but JESUS CHRIST IT IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

Hey now, pre-milk can be sexy.

I’ve had a confession about being deprived of sex by my partner posted here before and this is an open/anonymous confession I really hope (but sadly doubt) my partner will read and recognize. I love you. You are the love of my motherfucking life, but your stingy withholding of sex is driving me around the bend. It’s not rational. You need therapy if you can’t be open and honest and real with me in the most sexual sense. I’d go furry for you. I’d wear any outfit you could name. I WOULD DO ANYTHING YOU WANTED– debase myself in any way you could name– if only I could feel like we were sharing something deep and intimate. I have no shame and I’d live to give you pleasure every moment, but your chilly selfishness is killing my desire for you. You should have been honest with me about your sexuality (or lack thereof) when we embarked on this relationship and I could have made an informed decision based on reality instead of hoping that one day you’d realize that this is the one life we get with these wonderfully functioning bodies, and that it’s very important not to waste this. You are officially/unofficially on notice. I’m not asking for a 3-day fuckfest– just a teeny little stab in an erotic direction. Timid, I could understand. Shy– eminently forgiveable. After how open and giving I’ve been with you, for you to be sexually closed-off from me is unconscionable. We are doomed, unless you grow the fuck up.
P.S.– I might have an easier time believing you were ”non-sexual” as you claim if I didn’t find lesbian domination porn on my browser when I came back from out of town last weekend. The worst part of this is not the sex– it’s how stupid you believe I am.

Okay, I kind of see a problem here. You sound miserable, in fact. I hope things are better now than when you sent this. I know what it’s like to be in a relationship where I’m not getting sex no matter how hard I try, but I don’t know what it’s like to stay in that situation for too long. Because both times, I honestly couldn’t deal with it.

I don’t like the way the guy I’m dating kisses. I don’t care enough to tell him, though. I think that second part is the most tragic part, too.

I think I might agree.

Do you also not care enough to break up with him? Or is the kissing part of the relationship just not that important to you?

Confess your sex secrets here!

Wishes are sometimes confessions. Often, really. For instance, the main reasons I want bigger boobs are so I’ll (a) look better naked and (b) be able to get more attention when I want it. This is not something I’m comfortable going around saying to people, so I just say I want bigger boobs to even out my generous butt. That reason is valid, but it is not entirely truthful.

These ConTuesday confessions are pretty much all less frivolous than that.

9 months after the break up of our short romance, I still sometimes have dreams that he takes me back and everything is right with the world again.

But then you wake up and realize your life is awesome and you’re awesome and anyone willing to let you go is someone you’re better without? I’m hoping.

I think there is something seriously wrong with me!!!! I have only orgasimed with a man once. I can masterbate and hit it on the spot just like that, but you let a man come into the picture and it ain’t happening. Oh sure the sex is great but no orgasim. I have changed positions, added toys, and even told the guys how to do it. I don’t know what else to do, so I enjoy the sex, I come home, masturbate, and have the most intense orgasims. What is wrong with me???

Nothing is wrong with you. This is a very common situation, as I understand it. Maybe it’s the mental distraction of having someone else there. Perhaps the pressure of feeling like you need to have an orgasm to satisfy your partner’s expectations is bogging you down. Perchance it’s the fact that even if you tell someone just what to do with a toy, their technique won’t be exactly the same as yours. Have you tried just masturbating in front of a partner? If you haven’t, that might be a good start. If you’ve tried that and it hasn’t worked out the way you want, maychance try masturbating while having phone sex with your partner as an introduction to sharing your orgasms with him.

Keep in mind that you’re capable of giving yourself orgasms, so that’s great in and of itself, seeing as you’re a person interested in having them.

I want a hysterectomy more than anything. There is no medical reason to get one. I hate my uterus though – it is an organ with entirely oppositional goals to mine, and I do not identify as female and having it makes me feel alienated from my body. But I am terrified of losing my uterine orgasms – this must the joke of the cruelest gods, to make one organ both responsible for my greatest joy and greatest fear.

You didn’t ask for advice, and I am in no way qualified to give you any, but I want to say I cannot imagine how difficult this dilemma must be, and I’m sorry you’re facing it.

I want my lover to be poly-compatible more than I want just about anything else. I love her deeply and she’s practically perfect, but so matter how happy we are together, no, she’s NOT enough. It isn’t that anything is wrong with her, it’s the fact that she’s just one person. I can never make her understand that if she can’t understand open relationships. It’s hopeless. I can either lose the love of my life or stay with her unfulfilled. How does one choose?

Monogamy vs. polyamory is a relationship/sexual orientation (and yes, there are people who swing both ways as well). More and more I’m convinced that it has more to do with how one is wired than what one is able to understand, or how evolved one is, or how badly one wants to be the other orientation. If your orientation is definitely poly and hers is definitely mono (and demanding of monogamy, because some people stay monogamous and very happily let their partners practice polyamory, and that’s one solution), it seems to me that neither of you has a great deal of choice in the matter.

That being said, maybe buying her a book wouldn’t hurt. No pressure, mind, just a free book and the polite request that she do you a favor by reading it and discussing it with you.

Good luck!

Want to confess something? Preferably something related to sex, relationships, or how you have a giant crush on me? Please go here and spill it!

 

Today’s ConTuesday theme is updates. One cool thing about ConTuesday is that a lot of confessors are also readers who stick around, and comment, and update. It’s like serialized sex secrets!

If you, gentle readers, can figure out which past ConTuesdays hold the original confessions and link to them in the comments you will deserve a very special, sexy prize.

That does not mean you’ll get a prize, but by gum you’ll deserve it.

I wrote a confession a few days ago (not yet posted), about being the best my girlfriend has ever had, and I guess I’ve been pondering on that ever since. There are some expressions of self-doubt and uncertainty there, of insecurity – they’re genuine.

I don’t have enough experience to know whether I’m genuinely good or if she’s just saying that, and while she’ll tell me when what I’m doing is doing anything for her (if I ask), I do not know if she’d tell me if I were actually being bad in bed.

I could deal with being told I’m competent, or bad; I can improve on things if I know what I’m doing wrong. The ceaseless praise, however, has me totally off-balance, and counterintuitively leaves me in a state of more self-doubt than criticism would. If there were criticism mixed in with the praise, I’d know for certain (or more certainly) that the praise is genuine.

I’m not generally a self-doubting person, either; this is my sole realm of insecurity, perhaps instilled after my first relationship, in which the girlfriend in question continued to assert my qualities even while breaking up with me. (No, I am not a nice guy, in fact I do not believe in niceness. I am reliable and honest, however.)

How many people are in a state of self-doubt because they’re not being told they’re doing something wrong? Seems weird.

I probably wouldn’t tell a man that he was bad in bed; I freely admit that. I also wouldn’t tell him he was the best I’d ever had if he was bad in bed. That would be like, forgive the crude comparison, giving my dog a treat for chewing up my thong. Either kind, really.

Have some faith in yourself. In her.

I’m the gal who resolved to have anal sex with her boyfriend this year. Well! We got a butt plug and have used that and fingers weekly (or biweekly) for a while. Every time he would try to insert his dick, though, was met with immense pain from my rectum.

Last weekend, after an incredibly hot fucking using the butt plug in my ass and his cock in my pussy, he asked to try again. It…was underwhelming. He remarked that my ass felt very similar to my cunt, but smoother. I just preferred the way things were, with cock in my pussy and silicone in my ass.

Maybe my lackluster response was due to the fact that I had already orgasmed? Or perhaps I need to use that (condomed) plug in my pussy for the stimulation I’ve come to enjoy?

But at least it didn’t hurt!

For some people, anal might never not hurt. They might even enjoy it, but there will always be some pain (in fact, I might well be one of these people, but one never knows what the future holds). So you’ve got a pain-free anal session going for you! Have you made more progress? Maybe we need another update.

Some time ago I confessed about a dream I had in which I was having a three way with my girlfriend and someone else. I am not used to flirting with and fooling around with someone else that I am not in a relationship with, it was never something I did. Today we had a friend over and had some fun. We didn’t ”go all the way” but we did have a fun time with each other’s bodies. It was our first time doing it together so we took it slow and easy. Seeing my girlfriend passionately kiss another girl and then have them both take turns doing so with me was mind blowing. I spent a good portion of the time thinking I was going to wake up from a dream that I didn’t want to stop. We ended up spending close to two or three hours just feeling, touching, and kissing each other. I am now eagerly waiting for the next time we all get together because now were used to each other and can have even more fun. After it was all done I am not regretting it in th e least and I find I love my girlfriend even more. So I guess thanks QP, you kind of made this all possible, it was a dream come true.

So glad it has worked out for you so far!

So…I wrote a confession before, well two actually, about the boyfriend with the beautiful penis. And then the boyfriend who made me have faith again in humanity and you said that if he would like to offer any tips then to share them? Well he did. http://southeastsexandsanity.blogspot.com/2011/05/orgasmsrus.html I might be biased but it really worked for him/me.

There’s obviously no one-size-fits-all method for being good at sex, but damn, that sounds pretty good to me. I’m also really enjoying his blog, so he should definitely keep posting. Or else… well, nothing. I just like it is all.

Got a secret of a sexual bent? Submit it here and read it later. Highly gratifying!

ConTuesday has arrived! Prepare yourself to read some confessions because they’re coming at you in 3…2…1…

My darkest fantasy: My girlfriend dumps me for another guy, or I walk in on her having sex with another guy (or really any other variant on that theme)

Then through some twist of circumstances, I am at her mercy, and she forces me to give him oral sex or clean up after he finishes on her after making me watch (or really any other variant on that theme)

I have never really felt betrayed, and I wonder whether I fantasize that way because it’s such a reversal of the way my life actually goes, or whether I’ve never felt betrayed in my life because it couldn’t possibly live up to my wildest expectations of betrayal.

This kind of cuckold fantasy is pretty common. I tend to think the human mind and human sexuality are too complex to necessarily be able to explain the things that turn us on, but when has that ever stopped anyone? And seriously, why should it?

I just engaged in a solo session out of literally nowhere in which I suddenly discovered that vaginal walls are really sensitive if you press them from the outside kinda through the outer labia, damn near fisted myself somehow, and finished by jacking off with a Nexus and imagining it was my own dick.It was so awesome I have to tell someone. I am bursting with weird excitement, here. But my girlfriend’s at work and nobody else I know wants to hear about that. So I’m just telling EVERYONE indiscriminately through the power of ConTuesday.(I kinda needed it too…as-yet undiagnosed chronic pain conditions and holidays and periods and back spasms really don’t mix. But damn, if I don’t feel fucking amazing for just right now.)

Indiscriminate relation of mindblowing fapping sessions: one of the many purposes gladly, giddily served by ConTuesday.

I hope your health issues are better now, or at least diagnosed and getting treatment.

Also, I’m trying that pressure-through-the-labia thing, so help me.

When I masturbate I pretty much always swallow my own semen. Sometimes the whole lot, sometimes just a little. I equate it with biting my nails…

This totally reminds me of something that should probably be a confession itself because it’s sort of weird and I don’t want everyone to judge me. But whatever.

I once (years ago) formulated a plan to induce lactation on myself and see how long I could just live off my own breastmilk. I probably would’ve tried to go through with it, too, if it weren’t for the fact that I’d have had to wake myself up in the middle of the night to pump in order to get the milk flowing, if it even worked at all. I must’ve been so super bored back then.

This has next to nothing to do with the semen eating thing, which strikes me as a much nicer habit than nail-biting, really.

There’s a woman I really like. She has an amazing heart. And she’s the best kisser I’ve ever kissed. But she also has saggy folds of flesh that I’ve never encountered in a date before. Not fatter than I’ve seen, but droopier. And it bothers me. I can sort of see past it, but looking at her doesn’t have the effect on me that either of us would prefer.

There’s another woman I’m dating. She has a great body. In my heart it seems like she’s much too pretty to be interested in me. Objectively, I can tell that’s not true, I’m a handsome man and she’s not the prettiest woman to have hit on me by a long way. But I’m so insecure that deep down I can’t accept her interest at face value, and I have trouble getting close to her.

BTW, both girlfriends know that there are other women but not anything about them

I guarantee you that there are people out there who will be attracted to Woman #1′s body just as it is, as well as her heart, all while appreciating her amazing kissing prowess. Offhand I’d say she probably deserves exactly that. I think everyone deserves someone who’s genuinely attracted to them rather than someone who’s just overlooking their appearance. Maybe that’s naive. I also don’t care.

The thing that strikes me most about this confession, however, is that I have no idea if Woman #2 has a damn thing to offer besides a hot body. I think everyone deserves someone who’s genuinely attracted to them rather than someone who’s just interested in their conventionally hot appearance.

Hopefully you’re one of the good someones for one (or both, if you’re poly) of them. If not, don’t beat yourself up. You don’t owe anyone your attraction. In that case, I hope you move on and find the right person/s for you.

Have a sexy confession? Submit to me!

Have you ever been in a relationship that just sort of works? Great sex, minimal drama, chemistry on multiple levels, all with a person you like. Sometimes the plan just comes together. And I love that.

List of firsts for my Much Younger Lover
- having sex on a regular basis
- oral sex, giving or receiving
- giving a girl an orgasm
- showering with a girl
- having sex in the shower
- tying a girl up
- probably some things he didn’t tell me were firsts!

List of firsts for me with my Much Younger Lover
- orgasm so good all I could do was quiver and giggle for several minutes afterwards
- playing the older, knowledgeable teacher role
- enjoying sucking a guy off
- being tied up
- first time in a long time, feeling sexy and desired for who I am

This is awesome. I think most good relationships probably have a couple happy firsts like this, sexual or otherwise.

I’m graduating in a few weeks (Mid-May) and having a really hard time focusing for the final stretch, so my dominant partner made some rules: No orgasms if I haven’t met my homework goals for the day and no RPGs until I hand in my last assignment. It is the nerdiest use of his power to command me but makes me feel super loved – and also super productive.

I bet you killed it! Because orgasms are the best incentive.

I got my first vibrator, the lelo Siri and loved it.My boyfriend wholeheartedly loves it as well.Sadly we are currently in a long distance relationship and have been for about a year and 4 months. Needless to say, lots and lots of webcam sexing occurs. As time goes on, I find myself needing a more uh, ’filling’ playtime so I started looking into vibrators. The jack rabbit seemed perfect, but the batteries, and the rotational pearl things dying, oy vey.

So i’m getting a feeldoe stout. And the boyfriend is more excited than I am about it after he had a bit of time to let the thought settle. Many a fun webcam session shall be had with our new feeldoe. And many a fun session will be had when we’re alone for the first time as well.

Also Quizzikins, I have the same fascination with penises too. Your blog about your feeldoe kind of sealed the deal for me. xD

Do you just love your new feeldoe? I bet you love it. My relationship with my feedoe? Just sort of works.

I’ve been okay (not great) with past partners.

My current girlfriend, however, states in no uncertain terms I’m the best she’s ever had. I have managed to give her nine (possibly as many as twelve, we both lost count) orgasms in a single run, which seems good, and I rarely give her fewer than three. But I don’t feel particularly skilled, I’m not particularly large, and I don’t use any advanced techniques (and wouldn’t know what an advanced technique would even look like; rotating my hips counterclockwise and thrusting every quarter rotation?); the significant thing seems to be that the curve of my penis positions me to hit her g-spot perfectly.

I do one thing consistently, however, which is to start sex off with oral (getting her close but not finishing her, as that leaves her too sensitive to continue). This gets both of us quite ready and primes her for the first – subsequent orgasms are much easier for her to achieve. This shifts the ”usual” numbers from 1-4 orgasms to 3-7.

I can say that starting with oral has a similar effect on a lot of women, often myself included. Of course, the one sex tip that pretty much always works is asking your partner what they’re into and experimenting together.

My girlfriend tells me that she and her friends occasionally compare sex lives on the odd girl’s night out. I’m probably way too proud of the fact that she always has the best sex life at the table!

It depends who her friends are. If she’s going out with me on girls’ night, be proud. Trust me, be very proud.

Go out, have awesome sexual adventures, and then tell me about them, okay?