quizzical pussy

Since the time of my childhood I’ve heard tales of a magical land called Marriage. In Marriage, everyone has to agree on dinner and gets a state-sponsored tandem bike, as I understand it. The national bird is the redding wing and people speak Grownup. It sounds like a fascinating place. These people probably know more about it than I do.

My wife and I have friends over for football games – we root for our team by her having sex with everyone through the whole game. I really enjoy it. Amazingly, the better she is, the better our team seems to do… Hope we can get them to the Superbowl…

In Marriage, football sounds a lot more exciting and fun than it is over here on Earth.

When my wife was pregnant, her libido took a serious vacation. One night, I woke up so horny that I jizzed on her butt. I don’t know if she noticed or not. She never said anything about it.

There are probably no words in Grownup to describe what happened that night.

I’m totally into kink, and definitely an active and forthright member of the kink scene. I have never explored my deepest kinks, though, because I think they’re too boring. I want to be touched and fucked while pretending to be asleep, or even just doing something else. It seems too tame to be fun for the other person, and I’m scared to even ask for it! I’d rather beat someone/be beaten and feel pro-active!

Hey, this is just an idea but have you considered moving to Marriage? (see above)

I’m getting married this weekend and I’m a virgin. I can’t decide if I’m more nervous, scared or excited.

Congratulations! How did it go? Is sex awesome (for you; I already know my answer…)? Do you like your new bike?

My wife and I have a closed relationship. She has told me in no uncertain terms that my fantasy of having a FFM threesome with her is NEVER going to happen. When we saw these pictures together, she commented, ”She’s so very thin.” After a brief silence, she continued, ”She has a beautiful body.” That made me so horny! Often, she’ll admit to attraction to women, and it always turns me on. BTW, she reads this blog, and I know that she’ll read this and know it’s me. So, this is only so anonymous…

Oh, the often frustrating difference between someone finding someone else attractive/beautiful/etc. and wanting to do something about it! But if it feeds your fantasies without raising your actual expectations, sounds like good, clean fun to me. Keep in mind, though, that I am from Earth, and your Marriage ways are strange to me.

Confess your sex secrets here!

ConTuesday! Time of secrets, great and awesome!

I found my G-spot and fapped furiously. My mother was in the other room watching television.

You see, science? The G-spot is true!

I *really* want to get a realistic dildo – specifically the VixSkin Johnny – but I’m worried about intimidating my boyfriend. We have a long-distance relationship, and our sex life consists of camsex on Skype. I typically use vibrators when we do, and it’s amazing – so much better than when I’m by myself, because he’s watching and getting off too. Thing is, he’s got a cliche fragile male ego about them. He frequently talks about how when we’re together, I won’t need them anymore – which is absolutely not true. I enjoy masturbating on my own and I intend to continue to use them regardless of my relationships. But for some reason, it’s so much better when I know he’s watching me do it. I’m afraid it’ll bother him a lot if he sees me fucking myself with a cock that isn’t his. I don’t want him to think I’m replacing him with a hunk of plastic.

Insecurity is really to blame for 90% of sexual issues. And obviously I made that statistic up completely, but it feels true. If a guy told me I could get rid of my sex toys because I had him I’d be all “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA your sense of humor is what I cherish most about you, dude.”

Now, this is probably like suggesting you buy a Kia when you’re looking at BMWs, but have you thought about cloning his willy? Maybe he’d be more comfortable if it was his cock you were pleasuring yourself with.

So I was dating a guy that for some reason I would eventually marry (and then divorce, because I later realized that I’m a lesbian after all, but that is a totally other story! With a happy ending even so don’t worry!), and it was still very early in our relationship, and for some reason during a very late night cuddle session he decided it sounded like a really good idea to wait until I was apparently sleeping and then hump me. This was extra bizarre because he was a preacher’s son and SUPER HUNG UP about sexuality entirely, and we’d never even gone past French kissing. I had such a hard time even parsing what the fuck was happening that I just shut down and barely even tried to stop him…I just pretended to be asleep and waited for it to end. Somehow it got vaguely apologized for and years later I still wonder off and on if it was rape but you know what, why wouldn’t it be? A guy did a sexual thing to me I didn’t want him to do and it made me feel awful and totally skeeved-out and so ashamed that I couldn’t even tell anyone for so long that I only finally told one person. Except the real reason I haven’t told anyone is I dealt with it and I’m fine now, still angry but using the anger pretty productively to set and enforce boundaries and be assertive, and I don’t want people to go “oh poor thing” and freak out and think of me like a victim. ‘Cause dammit, I’m not a victim. The only reason I would tell everyone is so they can know just what a dickbag this guy has been even though he’s always such a saint in the public eye, and the only reason I’m not telling is because I don’t want to give people the power to tell me I’ve been broken when I’m not at all. (That and I can’t think of any way to actually bring it up in conversation other than “SO YEAH, ONE TIME THIS GUY ASSAULTED ME, WHAT A DOUCHE, JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW, LOLOLOLOL” and somehow that just seems way too out of the blue to even bother with. Such social graces I have!)

I understand you’re not asking for my opinion or anything, but just to make this very clear to anyone who might be reading, that was absolutely, completely, 100% rape. I’m glad you have a happy ending and honestly can’t help hoping he does not.

Send your secrets here.

ConTuesday is here! Have some anonymous internet confessions:

We (me and my wife) recently visited her family where I meet one of her cousins for the first time. I am now having sex with her. One night I had sex with the cousin then droped her off with her dad, then got a blow job from my wife. The cousin is planing on coming out to visit for a month to keep having sex with me. Oh and the reason we were visiting family, my Mother in-law died.

moved in with my sister again who has no idea, i think, that I’m bisexual. This would be the same sister I lived with who I never told that I was pregnant. And my son is 5 now and we’ve never talked about that time either.

My wife and I engaged in some “soft swinging” with another couple, this weekend. We hung out, and there was some alcohol consumed. The other couple started fooling around, mostly with her handling his cock, while I was in the kitchen. They asked if this offended us, and we said no, but my wife came in the kitchen to join me for a drink. Looking out over the passbar into the living room, we could see that she had removed his penis from his shorts and begun working on it. My wife began to do the same thing in the kitchen, to me. It was fun, and a little dirty, and safe. I began to have sex with my wife in the kitchen, but told her I’d really rather do it in the living room. She was reluctant (shy), but she went. On the carpeted floor just two or three feet from our friends, we had good sex. Everyone got off, and we all laughed. no worries. I think that one of the reasons that this was fun, was that we knew that the other couple would keep their hands to each other, and they knew we would keep ours to our own selves. I had worried that I might be pushing my wife just a little bit too much (she really is shy), but when she came, right there in front of the others, I knew we were okay. It’s a delicate thing, encouraging your significant other to expand her boundaries. Sometimes we just want our partner to take us by the hand and say, “Come on, Baby! Let’s try this!” And sometimes we’re reluctant for solid reasons, and being pushed is to no one’s benefit. We’re planning on doing it again– completely withOUT inter-couple contact.

I was the one with the bad sex/new guy confession, and you’re right, there is an update! Blew. My. Mind. The guy’s got technique, AND that essential quality in which he’s just totally into what he’s doing for me. And once the clothes are off, I totally take back the not as hot comment… what a bod!

Send me your confessions!

Once in a great while I get anonymous confessions that aren’t strictly about sex. And hey, secrets is secrets. I’m into it. But sometimes, I get anonymous confessions about a human mechanical bull. I thought I’d put them in ascending order of lasciviousness today.

I have something growing on my asshole. I think it’s a hemorrhoid, but I’m not sure. WTF. I don’t want to go to the doctor, because every time I go he berates me for being fat.

You seriously need a new doctor. Whether a patient might be healthier at a lower weight or not, a doctor has no right to be abusive about it, especially to the exclusion of giving actual medical care. I wonder if this link would be of interest. I had a hunch there might be a site out there that lists doctors who behave respectfully to people with “overweight” and above B.M.I.s, and there is! Please understand that by posting this link I’m not trying to call you fat, despite the list’s name. I hope, of course, that this clears up on its own, but having a doctor who doesn’t berate you every time you seek medical treatment seems like something worth finding.

For, sheesh, probably five years now, I’ve used RSS feeds to keep up on smutty thises and thats, the convenience of which only increased my readership. The beauty of bloglines.com is that it’s a perfectly worksafe URL, so if I needed a little (or medium, or large) spike during bank hours, it was there to unassumingly reroute hotness my way. But now Bloglines is closing, and the announcement coincides with nearly a month of me ignoring all my RSS smut. I’ve got to decide if I’m going to transfer all these subscriptions or not … and I’m surprising myself by kind of thinking “not.” A lot of sex blogs burn out, and perhaps this sex blog reader has burned out as well.

Oh God, it’s me. I’ve turned you off, haven’t I? My blog’s repulsive! I’M DISGUSTING. DON’T LOOK AT ME!

Oh well. My mom thinks I’m pretty.

Anyway, don’t you just hate it when you find out about a useful or cool thing just as it’s precisely at the precipice of not existing? That’s how I feel about this whole bloglines thing. Great idea. Perhaps too good for this world…

When my wife and I started dating, I had very little sexual experience to say the least. I usually prefer to not think about her prior experience – it makes me feel horribly left out. With rare exception for over a decade, we’ve mostly been a two-person hot pot of sexual energy together. The rare exception being some isolated hormonal problems associated with different types of birth control, but that’s a tangent for another confession. I thought that we were a pretty typical, healthy, young, married couple in our sexual activities. But, we found ourselves in a very forward bible study group associated with the church we were attending. This was an eye-opening experience. When the conversation came to frequency of intimacy, other couples confessed that they only ‘had it’ once or twice, if even that often. I nodded knowingly, thinking about the stresses of schedule and how it can be difficult to get it on more than that many times a day. Then through conversation, I discovered that they were talking about a weekly or monthly schedule! We only have one child, but most of the other couples had multiple children. I assumed that this indicated their levels of frequency – which it might. They may have simply not used birth control. At any rate, the men seemed to think that it wasn’t happening quite enough and the women didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves when it was going on. This brought up questions: 1 – What in the world were they doing wrong that they weren’t enjoying themselves more? 2 – Are my wife and I absolute sexual freaks? and/or 3 – was the church group an unprecedented collection of sexual losers? One girl in the group voiced her intention to have sex with her husband every day for a week and got hoots and hollers from the rest of the group. My wife and I gave each other THE GLANCE. It was the “Oh, WTF” glance. We don’t go to that church anymore, and we don’t really associate with anyone that we knew from there. It’s been years, actually. Since then, I think that I’ve figured out some of the answers to my old questions. 1 – I don’t think that they were actually focused on satisfying their partners in any form, physical or otherwise, and that grossly affected things in the bedroom. 2 – I am indeed a serious sexual deviant. My wife keeps up with me most of the time, but I’m a little more adventurous than she is. We still have a lot of fun together. 3 – I do think that we had found a weird group that unanimously leaned unusually far into the opposite direction of our proclivities across the bell curve. All too often, it’s easy to focus on the negative. Focusing on the positive makes me horny.

I haven’t gone to church regularly since I was 18 (it was sort of a household requirement). Maybe that’s why I don’t remember all the sex talk. Of course, not being married I probably still wouldn’t be invited to be appalled by the sad, depressing sex lives of my fellow parishioners. They also probably wouldn’t like my girl-fucking. I’m so oppressed.

I saw a documentary once where pre-scandal Ted Haggard claimed that Evangelical Christians have the most, best sex of anyone in the world, and then he went around polling a few of his male congregants to ask them how often their wives came. Every time, apparently.

I’ve recently come to the realization that just about every time I have sex with someone, besides my husband, it’s like a rodeo. I’ve found very few partners that can make it the full 8 seconds. In one respect it’s quite flattering. I’ve been told I’m quite good and that my girly parts are remarkably taut, yet pleasingly squishy. But, at the same time, come on now. Just when it starts to feel good and I get into it I start hearing that familiar shortened breathing and grunting and think “really? already?”. It may be flattering the first few times but it gets frustrating real quick.

You got, like, the worst super power ever, lady.

You, reader, will notice that I neglected to put a really, horribly scandalous confession at the end here. That’s because you’re supposed to send one in! I thought you knew already.

Here are some anonymous confessions for you to read. They are very mysterious!

I sat and read your blog and masturbated and read and read and masturbated until I was raw. I finally came as I thought that there are others who do the same thing, and I realized that I would tell you this, here, which just pushed me right over the top.

No, seriously, I recognize your lack of social skills and romantic experience and find it endearing. But how on earth you could miss that someone stroking your hair while talking about how pretty you are, while on a bed, IS HITTING ON YOU I will never know.

Sometimes I think that everything I do is motivated by sex. It’s really not stereotypical behaviour for a woman. But events I go to, supposedly political groups I join, everything seems to be motivated by the idea of finding someone new. It’s not just the sex, I’ve got a bit of a growing obsession with having a baby. I use contraception but I really wish that I didn’t.

My fantasies are fairly horrific. They are about the reduction of people (of all ages) to objects to be abused in all the worst ways imaginable. I don’t appear in my own fantasies at all; they are just small horror films which I watch. The characters don’t have names or faces. In real life, I get upset and triggered by accounts of suffering and abuse less than what I fantasise about elsewhere. My mini-world is a rape culture world, a feminist’s nightmare, a man’s nightmare too. Sometimes women are the abusers, often it is a misogynistic society run by men. I find it strange because it’s not something I’d want to do in real life at all. I have mostly stopped feeling guilty about it, because my fantasies have been like this from the start, but I can’t tell much of the truth when partners ask for my fantasies. They get the sanitised version – and even then are usually a little shocked.

Now you tell me a secret.

ConTuesday! Today I’m not feeling chatty at all, so you’ll get (mostly) pure, unadulterated sex secrets from strangers without much commentary from the pussy gallery. Of course, feel free to add your own!

I’m really pretty conventional. Like most men, I would love a three-way with two chicks, and like most men, I’ll never get that. I’m very devoted to my wife, and I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt her, and whatever she may say, I think that emotionally she would become very self-conscious if I were to sex another woman, even if she were in the room with us. But I know that she is turned on by certain men, and I’m fine with that. As a matter of fact, it turns me ON that she is turned on by other men. I want so much to watch her have sex with one of these men, but then come back to me. Does that make me cocky, that I know she will come back to me? Self-demeaning, that I want my significant other to be pleasured by another? Specious, that I probably just subconsciously want my own free fling? (We’re monogamous, and have always been so.) I don’t really think so. I pretty much ALWAYS need my wife to be completely turned on before I can perform. I just want to see her delighted, from outside. I want to see her come, HARD, and then return to me. I suppose there’s the danger that she’ll love his cock more than mine. But to be honest, the thing that keeps me from approaching certain men with suggestions right now is just the terror of the Worst Case Scenario occurring: Her getting pregnant or catching a bug that can’t be un-caught. But really, the guys she likes would probably be pretty safe for the latter, and the former would be addressable (redundant BC, for starters).

I’m a poly heteroflexible white male, mostly out, and I want to write publicly about sex and poly. However, I don’t want to do so with my name (or any known internet handle) attached, because I think it’s tacky (and possibly harmful) to write openly and possibly identify my partners, but also because I’m anxious about what my friends and family will think. But I have some really hot sex, and I find poly so fascinating and wonderful – I’m just not sure where and how to share my thoughts about it.

Why not start an anonymous blog? It’s fun and easy and in some contexts, even free!

Every time I take a especially large toy or a hand or anything else larger than usual, I spend the next day doing tons of kegels or wearing my smartballs around, because I’m afraid my vagina will get stretched out. Even thought I KNOW that’s not how vaginas work.

I have a raging libido (mid 30s, woman, i guess that whole sexual peak thing is true) and all I can think about is sex. I read porn online, fantasize about sex, masturbate all the time- and tell my husband that my chronic illness has left me with no desire at all. Ever since he got sick, I’ve been taking care of everything and I’ve come to view him as a child I have to care for. And I’m not a pedophile.

Got something to share and nowhere to share it? Send it to me.

It’s Tuesday again, which means you’re probably here to read the secrets of the anonymous denizens of the internet. And I’m here to give them to you!

My wife, as we’re watching porn says ‘That’d be fun. I’d let another woman help me suck your c*ck’. Naturally, I’m interested in this possibility. I doubt she’ll make any effort to pursue it, short of my regular prodding. Yet, I don’t want to be annoying about it. We seldom go ‘out’ and when we do, it’s never anywhere we could people-watch and attempt to pick up a 3rd party. Besides, I highly doubt either of us would have the cajones to strike up a convo with that as the goal. After all, that really doesn’t seem to be the best option – to have an ulterior motive like that when engaging in bar conversation. I’d wager the success rate of that is nil. Aside from say, Craigslist or online dating sites, I wonder if there are any other ways I can expedite this sort of thing. Any suggestions?

Ah, the elusive unicorn. Finding a hot, bisexual woman willing to play with a couple isn’t necessarily the easiest thing to do (okay, maybe she doesn’t have to be bisexual per se, but she clearly needs to be open to the possibility of brushing lips with your wife across your very happy cock). People all over the world are on the same quest. Wouldn’t mind snagging one myself. Actually, though, don’t think about it that way or you’ll psych yourself out.

I’d say that if you’re really not interested in using the internet, make some new friends. To be more specific, join a group of friends that are bonded through a common geeky interest, preferably one that you share. In my personal experience, geeky groups are often comparatively open about sexuality, and are more likely to be polyamorous (this will eliminate your need to necessarily find a single woman to play with). Hang out with these people because they’re awesome, talk about sex with them because it’s interesting, and hope like hell that one of the women in that group is attracted to you guys (and vice versa).

Or, find a swingers’ club or party in your area. That will be faster and have a better chance of success, and you’ll likely still get new friends out of it.

I’ve been seeing this guy for over a year now and though he can go for HOURS, I’m not satisfied. He is smaller than most of the men I have been with and of recent I have found myself fantisizing about my ex after I leave him. I love the sex but it isn’t getting the job done and I don’t know what to do about it. We have used toys, changed the scheme of things, but nothing seems to be working. I’ve thought about maybe having a three some with the two of them, but then it would mean letting the ex know that I’ve been in a year + relationship with one of his best friends. Yes we have kept it quiet because it was supposed to be just sex, neither of us wanted to hurt him, but now I’m over hurting him and just wanting to use him. I told the ex today that he needed to come visit because I haven’t found a man that can do it like him. But I can’t let the guy I’m with now know that or he’d be hurt. What’s a girl to do??

The final question might be rhetorical, but I’ll try to answer it anyway. What is a girl to do? I’d experiment more with your current guy (it’s obvious that you already have, but more more more) and start dropping hints about a threesome to see if it’s a possibility. Since you’ll be in experimentation mode already it’ll be a relatively easy thing to bring up, although he still might not be interested.

I would also stop telling the ex that he’s the best you’ve ever had, though, because while that’s very flattering he might let it drop in the shock of realizing that you’ve been dating one of his friends. Then you’ve got trouble and feelings are hurt, and if nothing else you probably won’t be getting that threesome. Good luck!

If any readers have suggestions for either confession please leave a comment, because I am not the mayor of third party seduction.

Confess your sex secrets here! You can even take your sex life in your hands and ask me for advice, of all preposterous ideas.

ConTuesday! Anonymous secrets! Intrigue! Titillation!

On an unrelated note, this week’s title has nothing to do with any of the confessions I got. Laramy recently decided it’s insanely fun to make this “came in my pants ever so gently” breathing sound. I call this sound Creepyleaf, due to a late night discussion involving rakes and the fact that it does, in fact, sound creepy. Feel free to imagine him doing this after each confession, because that’s what I’m doing today!

Back when I was in my early 20s, I was a nanny for a couple and their young son. The couple’s 18-year-old nephew came to stay with them, and I started sleeping with him after about 6 months. I look back on him very fondly; he was sweet and respectful and ready to go again every 10 minutes. I also slept with the husband (the couple had a permissive relationship), who was in his mid-50s. That wasn’t so nice. But to this day, they were the youngest and oldest men I’ve ever slept with, and they happened to be related, and they definitely didn’t know about each other.

I just love ConTuesday.

Had a two-night stand with this guy… hot as hell, great accent, beautiful cock… but the sex sucked. I thought it was a fluke the first time so I tried again, and it turned out he just sucks in bed, at least as far as my likes are concerned. Now I’m flirting with a guy who definitely won’t be a one night stand or fuck buddy… not as hot but still very cute, and one kiss with him turned me on more than sex with the other guy. I can hardly wait to find out if the sex is gonna be as good as the kiss.

There’s enough lag between when I get these and when I post them that I bet it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask for an update. How about it?

I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, since a mutually perverted friend directed me here… and when you talk about never getting enough, until your pussy puts up a white flag… I have to be honest and say that I’m the same lol. My ahem, longest time for fucking has been four hours solid, sleep for five, wake up for another four hours of fuuuuun! *giggle*

Three things: 1) Insatiable sex gluttons for the win! 2) Were you, by any chance, having sex with easy listening pop sensation Sting? 3) How sore were you after? Regardless, that’s sexy.

I used to be really good at giving blowjobs. Intact and cut guys, very large and average guys – they’ve all been very, very happy with my techniques. Hell, once I made a man have four orgasms in a row without even using my hands for extra help. …but I still haven’t managed to get my current partner off any way other than PIV. He needs me to move way faster than my head is capable of going and he really didn’t like the time I tried having him mouth-fuck me. I don’t think I’ve forgotten my old techniques, I just think they’re not compatible with his penis. He’s a great guy and the rest of the sex is wonderful, but I kind of resent that I can’t get him off that way. I miss having that sexy power.

I have a Feeldoe! Just saying. Sorry, that was probably inappropriate, and Laramy is likely making the creepiest sound right now.

Have a secret? I want it!

ConTuesday! A magical land where you get to read a bunch of (probably) strangers’ secrets!

I completely get off on clinical sex terms, especially when mixed with normal dirty words. If a girl ever said “Ooh, I want to feel you ejaculating in my cunt” I would probably in fact come instantly. This has always just felt too goofy to tell any of my partners. It does make reading awkwardly-written internet porn stories strangely hot, though.

I don’t write fanfic otherwise, but I love anonymous kink memes on Livejournal. When I fill someone’s prompt, I feel like the Porn Fairy, spreading hotness throughout the fangirl world.

I know someone who might appreciate some Porn Fairy magic! (see above)

I recently managed to step into a fuckbuddy relationship. I have no emotional attachment or engagement towards her and it’s purely physical on my side (she has a smokin’ body). The problem lies on her side. We’ve known each other for about 3 years and all that time I know that she’s had a crush on me and now I feel like I’m just using her. I’m terrified of the moment when she’ll start talking about our “relationship” but until then I’m going to be banging away, because somehow the whole situation turns me on even more in bed. It’s like… well, I really can’t explain it. Also, hope you feel better soon.

Thanks! I’m starting to!

Sometimes, when I’m having sex with my fiance, I’ll look up at him and get this gut feeling of “ugh, why the fuck am I fucking this guy? His body is revolting.” I’m not sure what happened, because I used to think he was hot. I still love him, but now I sometimes want to leave the lights off when we have sex. (Because he’s still a god in the sack. I just don’t want to look at him.)

Got any secrets to share? Put them in here!

This ConTuesday has several sorts of anonymous confessions to sample: transgressive, triumphant, murky, and really kind of gut-wrenching.

While I was married to my first wife, I had an affair with her sister, that lasted about a year. In all honesty, I should have stayed with the sister, life would have been much better. One night, I butt-fucked my SIL, and then went upstairs, and woke up my wife, and had her give me a blow job. What made it even more weird was that my SIL stood in the hallway and masturbated while she watched us.

I recently discovered that if I apply really strong pressure to my clitoris as I’m orgasming, the climax keeps going for an extra thirty seconds or so. I wish it was socially acceptable to share these sorts of little personal triumphs with the world at large, but it’s not, so I’ll share it with you.

You know how something will randomly pop into your head and you’ll think “I have to remember to look this up on the internet later”, but you don’t have a smart phone and you every time– without fail– forget to look it up when you’re actually on a computer? Well, in a similar vein, I keep meaning to try this!

Boy, you are very cute and you have a tophat, which is always a plus. However, you violate the xkcd rule, so despite your flirting I doubt we shall ever have a relationship. …Maybe making out. But that is definitely the limit here.

If I wear top hat will you make out with me? I’m just curious here.

I confessed here before my boyfriend barely touches me. He’s doing such a great job convincing me he doesn’t find me attractive, that I’m starting to find him less attractive… I go to get my nethers waxed and think sadly how I’ll keep paying for this because at least twice a month, I know someone will touch me below the waist.

If I wear a top hat will you let me give you a big hug? Because this confession really makes me want to.

Send in your anonymous confessions using this convenient form! Make haste!