Saferwords
The most sensible, straight-forward safeword is probably “red”, within a “we’re doing that traffic light thing” context. I like the gooey, waffley security of having “yellow” there in case I need it.
Safewords that miss the point include “no”, “stop”, “ow”, and “motherfucker”. You might think saying “safeword” would fall into this category, but on further reflection I think it would actually make a pretty good safeword. It’s just not very imaginative.
The most evil safeword is almost certainly “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”.
I think perhaps the meanest, yet most insidiously effective (at stopping play; not so much at fostering a healthy dynamic), safeword would be “I’m bored”.
The best of all possible safewords is “narwhal”. That’s been scientifically proven by science.
On a semi-related note, I want every single motherfucking one of these. Immediately.
OK, “narwhal” is pretty awesome, but the best of all possible safewords is “vanilla”, as suggested (IIRC) by Flightless in comments on Holly Pervocracy’s site.
@Mousie762 “Vanilla” is indeed a pretty fantastic safeword, but, I mean, science, you know? Can’t argue with it.
I chose “Courageous” as mine. Subtly discourages its own use.
Your mileage may vary on the wisdom of that, of course.
As Bitchy Jones said, “DO IT TO JULIA!” is the best safeword.
When I need to use one, I find “No, thank you” to end up being my safe phrase…. but I’m not a very heavy player. I remember doing fire play once, getting my lovely sub high, and crashing, and getting very polite all of a sudden…. It is surprisingly effective. But I do like Narwhal.
Etsy needs a wishlist function like Amazon has.
I like using ‘banana’. If it is invoked there is greatly reduced risk of hurt feelings because of the giggling involved at the sheer ridiculousness of it.
I’ve always liked Mistress Matisse’s suggestion that “vomit” and “lawsuit” make really excellent safewords.
Also, some friends of mine have a running joke that “beige” is the safeword you call out when things are boring you.
@quizzical pussy
Oh, I guess you’re right. Science!
Thank heaven I’m not a sub; when I’m experiencing intense sensations I have a hard time speaking at all, so safewords would be problematic for me.
Last time my bf was massaging me, we worked out a system where I’d “tap out” (literally whomp the mattress with the palm of my hand) if he was going too hard. That worked well. In the past I’ve relied on him to know the difference between my happy sounds and my OMFG THIS IS TOO MUCH sounds, but that…didn’t work very well. It seems he’s not as attuned to my subtleties as I am to his. So, tapping it is!
@Orphan Maybe this is a larger statement about the fact that the greatest courage is honoring your limits. I’m wearing my serious face and everything right now.
@ozymandias Poor Julia!
@LuckyLuckyGirl I think the ultra politeness of that is really adorable.
@Josh At least they have a favorites function that I always fill up so I can go back later when I want some handmade shopping porn. I just love etsy.
@Clint Yes! I feel like narwhal has an element of that as well.
@Arti Absinthium Those are all pretty brilliant.
@perversecowgirl That reminds me: it’s not a bad idea for everyone to set up a non-verbal safeword. More of a safegesture, really.