Personae
Here’s a list of the various lovelies, friends, sexual partners, and nemeses from my life that I mention in this blog. Feel free to believe that these are their real given names.
Aldo Melastophilus: A friend I tried to date. Great guy, bad timing. He is a karaoke tour de force, though.
Clifton Overmangle: Describing Clifton, the terms young, virginal, and obsessed with assplay come to mind. Yes, really.
Crispin Hijanx: A totally awesome, totally platonic male friend whom I have totally stripped for.
Edwin Pomble: I often feel that I accidentally dated Edwin. For four years. Really it’s more accurate to say I was just chickenshit, and wouldn’t break up with him.
Eloise Chestlegrinn: Longtime friend and partner in checking out hot chicks.
Laramy Fuquerton: Cynical, geeky, and man pretty, Laramy is the proud owner of one of my favorite penises ever. I don’t hate the rest of him either. In fact, I’ve gotten rather fond of him, which is why he’s my boyfriend.
Miriam Spiralti: Dear friend since high school, and a very wise woman.
Penelope Svelterwald: Penelope is the first girl I had sex with. She is really, devastatingly easy on the eyes. I’ve never had a sexual encounter that involved so much giggling, which is part of what makes the memory so sweet.
Piers Vitiard: Piers Vitiard raped me on our second date.
Reginald Sleeth: My first boyfriend. I dated Reginald on and off during some very impressionable years. It didn’t go particularly well.
Rowan Sharqtipus: A sexy beast, and one half of my favorite poly couple!
Viola Sharqtipus: As the first girl I ever fucked without an audience, Viola holds a special place in my heart. Being gorgeous and talented doesn’t hurt her cause either.
