Mouthy 2: The Revenge
If Receiving Cunnilingus were my girlfriend, our Facebook relationship status would be “it’s complicated”. While some women don’t care for it at all, and some literally can’t get off outside of a tongue placed just so, I’m somewhere roughly completely outside those extremes. Oral sex gets me off fast, and well, and feels amazing. I love it, really. But on the other hand, I always try to dissuade my partner from giving it to me.
At this point it’s probably occurring to you, and rightly so, that I’m not the altogether most healthy, normal person you’ve ever come across.
What is it about oral sex that turns me even more neurotic than usual? I think it’s the focus. While one of the things I love about giving oral sex is being able to focus on someone else, I feel guilty once the tables are turned. I feel like it’s really unfair for me to accept that level of attention.
I’m aware that this isn’t exactly rational.
Early on with a new person, it’s usually much easier for me. There’s a lot of lust flying around, and everyone wants to put their mouths everywhere. But after a while things tend to settle down a bit, and I start feeling like it’s getting to be a chore, going down on me. Like my naked vulva is sitting there expectantly and prompting an aggrieved “Gawd, this again”.
Not that there’s anything preternaturally trying about giving me oral sex, that I’m aware of. I come within seconds, I give enthusiastic and appreciative feedback, I reciprocate, and I don’t think I taste weird. Sometimes I squirt, but definitely not always! My problem is really conceptual more than practical.
The thing is, I’m not hard to satisfy in bed. My orgasms come fast and boisterous, and although it takes some effort and skill to blow my mind, it can usually be done without a lot of fuss. In no way do I need oral stimulation. So it seems almost too greedy in my case to ask a partner to pay attention to me in any way that’s so one-sided. That’s where the guilt comes in.
Sure, sometimes I want it. Sometimes I even crave it. It feels really good, and the exact orgasms I get from it don’t occur elsewhere. But in my experience, once you start seeming reluctant to receive oral sex, you kind of get fewer and fewer offers for it. And that situation is both comfortable and depressing. Because in my weird, twisted little world that somehow makes perfect sense, asking for oral sex would be even more unforgivable than actually getting it!
I’m absolutely insane.
If my partner seemed consistently reluctant to receive cunnilingus, I’d feel that she didn’t really like the way I did it no matter how enthusiastic she seemed in the event. Reluctance at first I’d put up to the kind of reticence to just receive that you talk about, plus perhaps body modesty. Continuing reluctance, in the face of my enthusiasm, would make me think she was humoring me when we did it before.
Not every man likes cunnilingus, but some men, like me, absolutely love it; when I had a partner I did it a lot, despite mostly no reciprocation. I don’t ask for washing first, still less for shaving or douching. To me, there is nothing as hot as a faceful of a woman’s scent; it gets me harder than anything else. It feels more intimately giving than anything else I can do. I love the opportunity to totally concentrate and focus on my partner. I love the opportunity to explore her with my mouth, no matter how many times I’ve done it before. I make little “mmm” noises so she knows I love it. I love to go slow to draw the experience out, and I love to go fast and hard to get her off. I love to hold her and lick slowly and gently in the afterglow. If I got off too, and I’m not going out in public, I won’t wash my face so I can keep her scent (too frustrating if the whole experience was one-way).
Not every man likes it, some men offer mostly out of duty, but some of us absolutely love it.
Ok. So hun.. I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from.
I hate oral. Or at least that’s what I tell people. I actually am fairly inexperienced.. there are a handful of times that I’ve liked it but overall it’s not something I feel I’m missing from my sexual repertoire at the moment. My big hang ups about oral come from the feedback I heard from all the men I grew up around and that was that giving a girl oral sex was like a chore. It was something you put up with if you wanted to put your dick in her. Chores lead to allowances after all! Where my hang up comes is that I don’t ever want to be the recipient of insincere attention.. it makes me feel pathetic. THAT is not a feeling anyone wants to feel in regards to their own sexuality. I also hate not being able to see someone’s facial expressions.. drives me fucking nuts!
The few times that I have enjoyed oral is when my partners have essentially told me that it was going to happen to me, that I was going to like it and they didn’t care how much I protested because they thought I was sexy as hell. Ya.. forced cunnilingus, but not in the way most people think of it haha.
Either way, we’re not all that neurotic or alone. I know tons of gal-friends who hate the notion of people “eating at the Y” as well.
I LOVE giving it to my partner, because I can make her come much harder that way than any other method. But it’s very hard for me to come over when she does it. It’s a turn-on, but just for a minute, usually. When I DO come over, it’s agony (in a good way, but still terrible agony). Not enough pressure, squeeze, action. Need more… action.