quizzical pussy

Why do unicorns like virgins so much? That’s just something to think about. If you figure it out, let me know. In the meantime, here are some anonymous confessions to read:

I get ridiculously turned on reading about the female reproductive anatomy, especially the vulva, vagina, and cervix. Somehow the words are completely and totally linked up to memories of what the body parts actually feel like during sex/masturbation. Reading about the bulbs of the vestibule just makes me wanna give it to myself, hardcore.

The word “cervix” makes me cringe a little for a very similar reason. It’s linked to memories of pelvic exams and penises accidentally mashing into it. But I’m with you on the others, but more when people actually say them. Hot.

I’ve only fucked virgins, and I’m horribly afraid I’m not doing sex right.

If they’re having a good time you certainly aren’t doing it wrong! Anyway, if you stick around for a while, your partner will get more and more experienced even if he or she started out a virgin, and will be able to give more meaningful feedback. Hopefully.

I just had the best, most awesome, weirdest, most unusual sex dream I’ve ever had.
I was having a generic, run-of-the-mill sex dream about a coworker, who had me chained up and was shoving things into my vagina. When he suddenly sprouted a giant mustache, and began to blow raspberries- you know, purse your lips together and buzz? Bzzzzz…
Next, he’s vibrating into my vagina, and I swear to god, I could feel it buzzing. It was astounding. In my dreams, I never really feel sensations like hot or cold or pain, and pleasure is kind of a dull remembrance of what it’s supposed to feel like. But this was AMAZING. I have never felt anything like it. Oh my god.
Then suddenly, a wave of warm water splashes over me in the dream, and I woke up. I sat up and thought to myself “Did I just orgasm?” And I think I did.

Zerberting someone’s pussy is actually a pretty brilliant idea! I like to think that Cliff Huxtable did this to Clair all the time. Awesome dream.

In reference to that guy whose wife thought a threesome might be fun, but who couldn’t think of a way to bring it about: I’m a hot bisexual woman who would love to be some couple’s third. I’d be totally into it. Thing is, I’m currently in a monogamous relationship with a man who I really love and who I’m sexually attracted to, and he wouldn’t be into my being a third with another couple at all. Dan Savage keeps saying that a bisexual woman who’s attractive and wants to play around with another woman (and who loves porn) is almost every straight man’s dream, but my man feels threatened by my orientation and my frank love of porn. Bah.

Being the unicorn in a threesome is totally a fantasy of mine too. In my experience, too many guys are too possessive or insecure to appreciate a horny bisexual chick. I finally found one who does, but he is literally the only man I’ve ever dated who’s been comfortable with it.

Confess your secrets! Keeping them locked up in your head isn’t healthy.