ConTuesday! The Lady or the Pussy
You may or may not realize that today is Lady Porn Day, the brainchild of sex journalist Rabbit Write. Today is a day to celebrate the things that turn ladies on, which I theorize overlap almost entirely with the things that turn people-in-general on! And then we celebrate acting on the turned-on-edness.
So here are some confessions that are loosely related to porn or other things we use to get fired up.
And no, I’m sorry. I have no idea when Gentleman Porn Day is, though I’m sure some would suggest that it’s every day.
Dear Jayne,
Next time you go to your bunk, may I join you?
Ah, and if wishes were horses, we’d all be eatin’ steak.
My ex-boyfriend wrote a sex story about me and he put it up for sale on Amazon.
It’s actually really well written, and he’s even gotten some people to buy it with no publicity:
But come on. How awesome is that?
For the record, I am starting to warm up more and more to literary erotica during my fapping sessions, which I suppose makes me more and more of a stereotypical lady.
It is approximately 800 standard units of awesome that you inspired a quality sex story! I may have to buy it just on principle. I only hope it bears no resemblance to the Miike movie Audition. Because that would make you one scary-ass individual.
Yesterday I heard my upstairs neighbors having loud sex yet again, so I put on some girl/girl porn, and turned it up as loud as it would go. Then I felt like the biggest loser in the world. I was hoping they’d think I was really having a threesome.
You will have your threesome when your motives are pure, my friend.
My boyfriend and I are cute (hot, some would say), inventive and sweetly kinky — but not weird or skeezy in any way. We’d totally let today’s confessor watch us have sex if she lived in our town. We wouldn’t expect her to join in, but if she felt like us and liked us, we wouldn’t exactly kick her out of bed.
I believe that this confession is referring to the last contributor to January 11th’s ConTuesday. I have to say, I don’t generally consider myself a voyeur (I’d rather join in), but I think I’d prefer my porn live.
So, QP readers, any porntastic secrets to share? I bet you’ve got a few.
Why would we be eating steak if wishes were horses? It’s not because we’re selling the horses, because transforming wishes to horses would create a definite crash in prices in the horse market. If anything, we’d be eating horseflesh.
One of my life goals is to have someone write a sex story about me.
@ozymandias We have to remember that Jayne is from another time, and maybe eating horseflesh is perfectly acceptable to him. Perhaps in the future, the Verse is a little like France.
(Please note that Quizzical Pussy Corporation does not condone or endorse eating horseflesh. Quizzical Pussy Corporation mostly just likes Jayne quotes.)
Oh! Firefly quote! Right!
…I only saw it once, I can be forgiven.
@ozymandias I’d actually be shocked if any one person got all the geeky references I cram into this blog. Plus, I’ll always forgive you because you’re charming.
@ozymandias I’m the writer of the confession and there’s something really sweet about knowing I’ll always be #1 in his spank bank. (Weird?)
Given that I’ve masturbated to the idea of someone else masturbating about me…
Not so weird.