ConTuesday! G-spots, toys, and douches
ConTuesday! Time of secrets, great and awesome!
I found my G-spot and fapped furiously. My mother was in the other room watching television.
You see, science? The G-spot is true!
I *really* want to get a realistic dildo – specifically the VixSkin Johnny – but I’m worried about intimidating my boyfriend. We have a long-distance relationship, and our sex life consists of camsex on Skype. I typically use vibrators when we do, and it’s amazing – so much better than when I’m by myself, because he’s watching and getting off too. Thing is, he’s got a cliche fragile male ego about them. He frequently talks about how when we’re together, I won’t need them anymore – which is absolutely not true. I enjoy masturbating on my own and I intend to continue to use them regardless of my relationships. But for some reason, it’s so much better when I know he’s watching me do it. I’m afraid it’ll bother him a lot if he sees me fucking myself with a cock that isn’t his. I don’t want him to think I’m replacing him with a hunk of plastic.
Insecurity is really to blame for 90% of sexual issues. And obviously I made that statistic up completely, but it feels true. If a guy told me I could get rid of my sex toys because I had him I’d be all “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA your sense of humor is what I cherish most about you, dude.”
Now, this is probably like suggesting you buy a Kia when you’re looking at BMWs, but have you thought about cloning his willy? Maybe he’d be more comfortable if it was his cock you were pleasuring yourself with.
So I was dating a guy that for some reason I would eventually marry (and then divorce, because I later realized that I’m a lesbian after all, but that is a totally other story! With a happy ending even so don’t worry!), and it was still very early in our relationship, and for some reason during a very late night cuddle session he decided it sounded like a really good idea to wait until I was apparently sleeping and then hump me. This was extra bizarre because he was a preacher’s son and SUPER HUNG UP about sexuality entirely, and we’d never even gone past French kissing. I had such a hard time even parsing what the fuck was happening that I just shut down and barely even tried to stop him…I just pretended to be asleep and waited for it to end. Somehow it got vaguely apologized for and years later I still wonder off and on if it was rape but you know what, why wouldn’t it be? A guy did a sexual thing to me I didn’t want him to do and it made me feel awful and totally skeeved-out and so ashamed that I couldn’t even tell anyone for so long that I only finally told one person. Except the real reason I haven’t told anyone is I dealt with it and I’m fine now, still angry but using the anger pretty productively to set and enforce boundaries and be assertive, and I don’t want people to go “oh poor thing” and freak out and think of me like a victim. ‘Cause dammit, I’m not a victim. The only reason I would tell everyone is so they can know just what a dickbag this guy has been even though he’s always such a saint in the public eye, and the only reason I’m not telling is because I don’t want to give people the power to tell me I’ve been broken when I’m not at all. (That and I can’t think of any way to actually bring it up in conversation other than “SO YEAH, ONE TIME THIS GUY ASSAULTED ME, WHAT A DOUCHE, JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW, LOLOLOLOL” and somehow that just seems way too out of the blue to even bother with. Such social graces I have!)
I understand you’re not asking for my opinion or anything, but just to make this very clear to anyone who might be reading, that was absolutely, completely, 100% rape. I’m glad you have a happy ending and honestly can’t help hoping he does not.
Send your secrets here.
Haha, I love the G-spot one. “Fap” is a great word.
My spouse once told me that, if I wanted to have sex with her while she was asleep, that was fine (she took Ambien, and it put her out like a light for 7 hours). She couldn’t understand why I was insulted at the prospect. She had given consent, she said. Why was I worried about it? Well, for one thing, it’s like implying that I’m a necrophiliac or just like masturbation with a lifelike doll. For the other, when you can’t withdraw consent, it feels pretty much like we’re glossing over the whole concept of consent. No thanks.
That said, some of *MY* favorite ways to be awakened have been to find her messing with me sexually, so… tiny conflict in logic.
@ QP: “And obviously I made that statistic up completely, but it feels true.” It does, doesn’t it? Insecurity, and miscommunication.
@G
G, I see exactly what you mean. My wife (now separated) is Type 1 diabetic and used to have fairly regular insulin reactions, where she’d accidentally take too much insulin and lower her blood sugar below normal. She’d act rather drunk and much more forward during that time, and asked why I never had sex with her then. The most obvious reason was that I was busy helping her normalize her sugar, and after feeding her something sugary I wanted to keep an eye on her recovery. But even without that it wouldn’t be proper consent, she wasn’t in a normal state of mind.