ConTuesday! Big bad pig
Health update: Still sick. My body’s being a total wanker, and we’re in a major fight right now. If anyone wants to trade and become a mediocre eighties movie, let me know. If not, I’ll see if I can’t scare up some magical powers on my own and use them to become the most popular girl in school.
In other news, here are those anonymous sex confessions you were looking for, since it’s Tuesday and all.
I’m stoked that two of my secrets have been first on ConTuesdays. I just wish I could tell someone else.
Three of them, actually! And this one’s semi-safe to admit.
She came over to tell me in person that she was leaving me for him, who paid her more attention. In our goodbye kiss, I lay her across the hood of his car, which she had driven over, and finger-fucked her in the street where she had parked it. It was late afternoon. Anyone could have seen.
When she drove away, I knew that she was struggling not to go back inside with me. I knew that I was missing out on someone great. I *should* have paid more attention to her. But I will have to admit a certain once-in-a-lifetime smugness that this time, I was the bad boy, and she wanted me for it.
Is it the ignoring part that makes someone a bad boy, or the having sex in public on top of other people’s possessions part? Or a combination thereof? I desperately want to be a bad boy, and I can never figure out how to pull it off. Help!
I refuse to roll cigarette packs in my t-shirt sleeve, if that’s what it takes.
Bless me, QP, for I have sinned.
I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.
These days I’m doing so much I shouldn’t be, I’ve started my own page for confessing my various peversions, experiments and sexual (occasionally mis)adventures.weonlycametodance.blogspot.com . Whether you post this or not I feel that you reading it somehow absolves me, and the more people do the more I can pretend I do these things as research and not because I’m a dirty slut.
I did go in a proper confession booth once but it was at a fetish club and I’m saving that story for now.
Every sin is its own blessing, don’t you think? At least when there are orgasms involved. And should there always be orgasms involved? Otherwise why bother figuring out how the hell to be a bad boy, right?
My lover is a conventionally attractive man. Tall, muscular and with a strong jaw. His normative good looks and physical strength make me uncomfortable as well as turn me on. During sex we sometimes role play where I turn him into different animals or alien creatures. Nothing makes me giggle as hard or feel more in control than watching a 6’3, huge guy transform into an oinking, ridiculous little piglet, stuffing different plugs into his bottom at my behest.
Two things:
- I cannot read this without seeing it in my mind’s eye. It is impossible to even try.
- In my mind’s eye, you two use this. May not be true, but it’s what I see.
I’m glad you two are having fun, conventionally attractive or not. I love role playing. Maybe it’s the theater geek in me.
Now, gentle reader, spill your secrets.
Check out Roosh V and Roissy, QP. The pick up artists have bad boy down to a SCIENCE.
@ozymandias Huh. I thought they were more about perfecting the desperate, trying-too-hard boy role.
@quizzical pussy Hmph. I imagine they appeal to bad-boy-seeking women. After all, if they didn’t fuck SOMEONE, they’d eventually stop, right?
@ozymandias I agree that bad boy is basically what a lot of them are going for, and it even (embarrassingly for women everywhere) works for some. Everyone knows that real rebels don’t do everything other frustrated guys on message boards tell them to do, though.
I’d say PUA works because some/many women play by similarly ridiculous rules, and sometimes -any- excuse to cut loose is excuse enough.
I wrote this elsewhere, describing the concepts they try to perfect, which I regard as trying to emulate John Wayne, rather than (insert stereotypical bad boy here):
“The masculine ideal is not a sex fiend laying woman after woman; the masculine ideal is almost asexual. People like Roissy almost get this; they get that the “alpha” they are emulating is not supposed to demonstrate interest in sex, are supposed to be above it. They make it clear you should be disinterested in women if you want to be attractive to them.
But they think it’s because an aloof man knows he’s desirable, knows he can get sex later.
No. The masculine ideal is disinterested because he’s disinterested, because sex is truly a -secondary- concern. He’s not waiting for better sex later. He’s not waiting for sex at all. Sex was… something he sank to.”
The hilarious thing is that the standards they emulate, applied to them, make them the lowest of the low. It’s no wonder they half such self revulsion, demonstrated in their attitudes towards both men and women.
Just out of curiosity: how much of a backlog are you currently running on confessions? There must be a bit of one to enable theme days, I suppose.
From Pig Tail Butt Plug ad: “It doesn’t get much more humiliating than this.”
I don’t know why this–combined with the fact that they manage to reference Deliverance twice in five sentences–makes me laugh. And not just chuckle, either. I’m talking people-are-wondering-if-there’s-something-wrong-with-me laughter.
The thing is, I’m not a Bad Boy. Hell, I wasn’t really one then. It’s just that, for a while, I had figured out physical fitness, and was comfortable in my own skin (for possibly the first and only time in my life), and I had several opportunities to date. This lady was really, REALLY nice (I liked her a lot, and she wasn’t bad; she was very Good), and I would normally have given her my full attention. But I accidentally found that when I divided my attention between her and a couple of other dates, it made her very interested in me. She finally did something that I really respect, and decided to move toward the man who clearly was willing to devote his life to her. But he was older, and she was, I could tell, sexually more attracted to me. This thrilled me.
But make no mistake– I had zero control of the situation. When she came over to say goodbye, my heart sank. So I used the one ace that I had in my sleeve, and used my sex. And I marveled at how it made her writhe. And she left. She left toward more stability. Toward more appreciation.
She made the right decision.
But I knew that she wanted my penis, and the way that I whispered a hot stream of desire into her ear as we made love.
Oh, and QP? Please get well soon. Healthy QP is more sexier than sicky QP.
@minuteye There’s about a month and a half lag at the moment.
@Brock F’in Samson Extreme Restraints, in many respects, is a comedy site. It doesn’t realize this, so don’t tell it, but it so is. Some of the fake reviews will make you pee your pants if you don’t take precautions.
@The Second Commenter (“Bad Boy”) I was actually more or less getting that from the confession, rather than creepy PUA vibes or something. And I’ll agree with you that there’s something bewitching about having someone think you’re “the sexy one”. Still, if you have any bad boy tips for me…
Thanks for the well-wishes!
oh gosh, we were looking for one of those too. thanks qp!
Okay, for suggestions as to becoming the HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE Bad Boy, from what I have seen:
1. Be “comfortable in your own skin,” regardless of what shape you are. I regularly see men and women who are not classically physically fit, who are the object of many people’s affections, because they exude an easy, un-self-conscious attitude. They just aren’t bothered by the concerns of the flesh.
2. Be interested in your own projects. Oh, if they want to come along, that’s fine. But you’re kinda busy with your own thing, y’know?
3. When it’s time for sex? Bring it. Bring it for yourself. Trust that the power of your own sex will get them off just fine. (It does.)
4. Here’s the bad part of Bad Boy: ignore them some, even though you know you’ve got some real chemistry. For me, this meant a call every week or two.
5. Break the rule, very occasionally, and let them know that they matter.