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17 Feb

Unnatural variation

Quizzical Pussy: WTF????

Laramy: that’s horrifying
Quizzical Pussy: “A Japanese penis chart used in sex clinics regognises just 10 different types of penis.” – WTF?sexfacts
Laramy: what?!?! NO!!!!
Quizzical Pussy: That is what it says! And here’s the one for women!
Laramy: I’ll take a #21 plz
Quizzical Pussy: That’s probably the most “normal” looking one. Although I bet on a hot enough chick you’d deal with whatever.
Laramy: I’m really not picky at all
Quizzical Pussy: …he says to his girlfriend ;_;
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There’s a reason these are illustrations and not photographs. Because several of them are likely about as real as the Lifted fucking Lorax. I’m looking at you, Penis #8.
  1. February 18th, 2010 at 12:14 | #1

    Penises 4 and 9 are sort of recognizably human. 1 is baffling, and may be a Sandworm.

    About half the vulvas look like they’re expelling something unpleasant.

    I guess I’m a 6? Or a 10, a 13, a 17, or a 20, because you’d have to be a serious connoisseur to perceive a difference.

  2. quizzical pussy
    February 18th, 2010 at 12:39 | #2

    @Holly Pervocracy If that #1 guy really exists, I wonder how he’d react if I wore a stillsuit to bed and tried to ride his cock using a maker hook. It probably wouldn’t end well.

    Admittedly, I don’t have a ton of experience with foreskin, but I would be surprised if it made penes into sandworms. And into whatever #8 is supposed to be.

    I don’t think even very dangly labia should look like unhealthy discharge. Stop letting third graders draw your genital illustrations, Japan… for several reasons. Ew.

  3. Pip
    February 18th, 2010 at 18:06 | #3

    @quizzical pussy: # 8 is actually the rare Elizabethan Ruffed Penis. They tend to be timid and avoid undue publicity.

    Also, may I point out that the vulva chart looks like a montage of vulvas who have partied too hard and are, in some cases, vomiting. “This is your pussy on on tequila!”

  4. quizzical pussy
    February 18th, 2010 at 19:31 | #4

    @Pip The Elizabethan Ruffed Penis!? I thought they were an urban legend! Wow.

    The vulva chart is like “faces of meth” for pussies. Awesome.

  5. February 19th, 2010 at 00:45 | #5

    The scary thing is that there is a photo version of that pussy chart over on Encyclopedia Dramatica.

  6. quizzical pussy
    February 19th, 2010 at 01:57 | #6

    @Eseell Holy shit! Yes they do!!!! That’s hilarious. Thanks for the tip!

  7. mangoesandlimes
    February 26th, 2010 at 11:48 | #7
  8. quizzical pussy
    February 26th, 2010 at 11:57 | #8

    @mangoesandlimes Holy. Shit. Well fuck me! But… probably not with that. No offense to anyone with a #8 penis.

    You’re like an internet penis-research rockstar or something.

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