quizzical pussy

We all know that sex education in your standard, K-12 education tends to be varying degrees of abysmal. And many parents have a hard time having the “The Sex Talk” (singular), let alone talking to their children frankly and informatively about sex on a regular basis. Unless you know where to look for good advice and accurate knowledge, sex becomes a terrifyingly learn-as-you-go endeavor: one in which trial-and-error can really backfire. A lot.

My sexual understanding was so poor until my mid teens that I while I knew that a penis could go into a vagina, I couldn’t really fathom how because I’d only ever seen flaccid penises before and I didn’t realize that they got hard. Knowing I lacked this and other vital information, I always ended up wishing I had an older sister.

Now, strictly speaking, I do have an older sister. I actually have a couple, but when we were growing up they only stopped ignoring me when they wanted to pick on me (which is understandable, since younger sisters are all stinky, worm-faced  poopyheads). What I really wanted was a mentor who knew significantly more about sex than I did (unlike my friends) but with whom I could still spelunk through the hidden, dirty nether regions of my mind (unlike every responsible adult I knew). Even when I was 18, 19, hell, 23… this person would’ve been invaluable to me, and probably saved me a great deal of time and grief and embarrassment.

But I think that the next best thing to that would’ve been having this book.

Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex by Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning is probably the coolest sex guide I’ve ever read. It’s even cooler than my sister who was a cheerleader. And it’s embossed. None of my sisters are embossed.

Moregasm is formatted more like a magazine than a textbook. It’s full of hot photos of sex toys and people getting it on, questions and answers, lists, and charts. The style and tone are light and conversational. It’s really what Cosmo wishes it could be, minus all the half-hearted fashion stuff that Vogue does better anyway.

This book is geared toward women, though I think nearly anyone would find it useful. It not only reads like a women’s magazine, but its first section is called “Lay of the Land: Your Body”, and deals with female anatomy with depth and understanding: from the ins and outs of orifices to body insecurities to using toys to masturbate. Later comes a “Him and His Body” section. Trans/genderqueer/intersex people are mentioned briefly (with an accompanying picture), on literally one page.

The sex advice is where Moregasm really shines. The sex tips are practical and straightforward, with an emphasis on communication. This book wastes no time or space justifying sexual pleasure nor making judgment calls on the “right” way to do things. It just works from the assumption that we’re all adults and want to get the most out of our sex lives. It discusses diseases, risks, and general safety, but never uses scare tactics. It doesn’t assume or ghettoize sexual orientation. There are separate sections for fellatio, cunnilingus, intercourse (including strap-on and anal subsections), etc. There aren’t “What Lesbians Do” and “Straight People Sex” chapters, just well-organized sexual knowledge.

Being a Babeland project, sex toy recommendations are liberally strewn throughout Moregasm. We are not talking generalized “dildos, plugs, and vibrators are things that exist”, but pictures and names of specific toys. For instance, the anal toy guide suggests the Flexi Felix as good starter anal beads, and the Pfun for prostate play. The big question here is how soon some of these toys will be outdated, and if future editions are planned as newer generations of toys come out.

Moregasm also has sections about virginity, libido, safer sex, sex when you’re older, and includes a Sex Bill of Rights (featuring rights like loving yourself, keeping lube handy, and asking for things you want). There are some damn sexy pics of people doing… you know… stuff, although more variety in race and body type would’ve made the whole thing even sexier.

Overall, this is the book I needed when I was first discovering my sexuality (even though it didn’t technically exist yet). However, as far as I am from having finished all that discovery, this book is pretty damn useful now. But without a doubt, if you know a fledgling sex fiend (even if it’s you), be a good older sister (even if you’re not female) and give the gift of Moregasm. Or, if that would be too creepy in the case in question, make carrot cupcakes instead. Because not everyone likes carrot cupcakes, but everyone should.

Thanks, Babeland!