Comments on: Why I missed my prom…

By: quizzical pussy

quizzical pussy — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:11:58 +0000

@Holly Pervocracy You’re too right, Chris. These people are being hateful and evil about this when it really shouldn’t be a big deal.

I’ve always found small-minded bigotry disruptive, actually, for what it’s worth. I think a lot of people feel that way. And Constance has been amazingly brave and poised through all this. I can’t imagine how hard it is to come out in the 8th grade in Mississippi (let alone what it’s like to weather what she’s been through/going through this year). But I’m thinking pretty fucking hard.

By: Holly Pervocracy

Holly Pervocracy — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 16:41:10 +0000

The cruelty of the “nobody can have prom because the lesbians ruined it for everyone” stance really gets to me.

…No, the whole damn thing gets to me. Two people buy two tickets and they get two admissions to the stupid dance, it’s really not something that needs to be a big hairy Issue. What exactly was the administration afraid would happen? The nebulous “disruption” seems to be an easy catch-all for anything anyone might possibly be offended by, no mater how dumb and hateful the reason.

I’m really impressed how tough Constance has been about this. When you’re that young there’s a lot of pressure to just shut up and go along with it when you’re told what to do by Big Important Grownups.

I didn’t go to my prom either, but not because of who my date was; we just both felt the prom would be overpriced and awkward and populated by people we didn’t like that much. We just hung out at home being ourselves, for free, in comfortable clothing and with friends, and I don’t think we missed that much.

By: quizzical pussy

quizzical pussy — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 16:00:49 +0000

@William the Coroner I'd have no problem with a school that never wished to hold a prom for its students in the first place. I'm perfectly fine with that although the students sure might not be. That's really not my issue. My issue arose when a school that planned a prom changed its mind and canceled it because a student wanted to bring a same-sex date, and school officials wanted to make sure she didn't. They wished to cover themselves legally while trying to shut her out of the prom; they were willing to shut everyone else out too just to preserve their unconstitutional "no tux" stand and their "you can't bring another girl" stand, knowing that they'd have legal issues to face if they singled her out. But in spirit, they did single her out, because this came about for one reason and one reason only. There's no doubt why they canceled prom, and it has nothing to do with wasting school resources on a party. Also, Marlene Dietrich in menswear. Yum.

By: William the Coroner

William the Coroner — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:01:50 +0000

I agree, the free speech issue was Constance not being allowed to wear a tux. Marlene Detreich, anyone? That was just stupid.–The schools really have no business enforcing a dress code at a party, ffs.

OTOH, the business of school is not prom. Time and resources that should be spent on education shouldn’t be wasted on this stuff. If the students want to get together an throw a party–free association, go for it.

By: quizzical pussy

quizzical pussy — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 01:29:59 +0000

@ravenshrike Absolutely right that canceling the dance was not the unconstitutional part. The violation of her rights was specifically that they said she couldn't wear a tuxedo to prom before they canceled it. I definitely meant to link to this recent article that explains that, but for some reason I wasn't on my game on this one. Sorry if that came off as misleading at all; I just didn't want to take up too much space since this entry is about two different stories.

By: ravenshrike

ravenshrike — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 00:52:49 +0000

Canceling the event outright without giving an official ‘we don’t like gay people’ statement was the only constitutional way to stop them from going. Since they didn’t actually bar anyone from going to prom, that pretty much means they’re in the clear vis a vis the US Consitution. Now, it’s entirely plausible that they’ve violated some law somewhere, or that Constance could win in a civil suit against the school especially if she can prove harassment arising directly from the cancellation of the event. Especially if she can get a school administrator to admit something stupid on tape. Carrying a tape recorder around with her at all times over the next few months would be wise indeed.

By: quizzical pussy

quizzical pussy — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 23:14:58 +0000

@Oddtwang Actually, it's just a really bad unintentional typo/pun. That I am fixing. Yeah, prom is one of the things I obviously don't really get either. It could've been fun under optimal circumstances, but I'm not sure that it would've been a huge landmark for me no matter what. But geez, don't take a dance away from high school kids because you're worried that some of your students might gay it up. Let them pick their own dates and make sure the same rules apply to everyone, male or female. Overreacting like that would be hilarious if these school officials didn't have so much power to stir up hatred against a teenage girl.

By: Oddtwang

Oddtwang — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 23:03:38 +0000

Ouch, looks like the rightwing spellcheckers got to Ellen’s surname, there; “Degenerate” would have been even funnier, mind :)

As a non-USian I’ve never quite grokked the whole prom thing, but this story has been a prime example of backwards-ass idiocy. Even if you’re a big enough arse to have a problem with lesbians attending prom, in what bizarre universe does cancelling the whole shebang rather than risk allowing a couple to attend it leave you as anything other than an utter laughing stock?