10 Aug
To the naked eye
How I know I’m generally clocked as heterosexual: When speaking to someone I’ve just met, if I mention “my girlfriend”, it is almost always assumed that she is a platonic friend that is female, in the way the term is often used by straight women. I wonder if I presented as less femme if the assumption would be that I’m having sex with her.
I have this problem too…but I’m mostly just commenting because FUCK YEAH CAPTAIN HAMMER!
This reminds me of a story.
I’m a butch straight girl dating a genderqueer/crossdressing boy. My friends all know this. And yet this conversation happened:
Me: I bought some lingerie for my boyfriend!
Friend: You did? I…didn’t think you were the type.
Me: ???
Friend: You just don’t seem like someone who would want to wear lingerie.
Me: No, dude, I bought lingerie for my boyfriend.
[long pause]
Friend: [facepalm] Yes. That makes more sense.
Me: If I said I’d bought a shirt or some pants for him, would you have assumed I’d be the one wearing them?
Friend: No, I wouldn’t. That’s a good point.
My point being: most people default to heteronormative assumptions, even when it doesn’t make any sense to, and it annoys the piss out of me.
It always annoys me when this happens. I consider myself heterosexual and cisgendered, but if a person tells me they have a girlfriend, I don’t miss a beat. I’m still as happy for them as when I was under the impression that they were single or maybe had a significant other of any gender… I mean, really. I think the thing that gets me the most about having a girlfriend or boyfriend is that people immediately assume that you’re gay…
No, not so much. There’s a whole world of sexualities out there, people. They exist. -_-