It’s not a great ad (I can’t argue that I love it and think it’ll do great things for society, I just think that full-on vitriol against it mostly boils down to misdirected hatred for her mommy), but it doesn’t explicitly say to be celibate. Telling teenagers to pause before participating in any activity is definitely never tantamount to forbidding it. Kids– or adults, really– don’t give up that easily. Bristol Palin’s personal statements about abstinence might lead one to think that this is an abstinence directive, but I don’t think it necessarily is. It doesn’t explicitly say “don’t have sex unless you’re prepared for the possibility of a baby” (although, I guess if you have heterosexual sex you probably should be at least a little prepared for the possibility of a pregnancy), it leaves room for a more realistic interpretation, and I think that’s intentional.

When I was 20 I wouldn’t have sex until I was confident I was minimizing my risk of pregnancy. I think of the “pausing” thing as similar to doing a mental check: “Did I take my pill today?” or the literal pause it takes to put on a condom. I still do that mental check, even though these things are more second nature now than they were at the beginning. For other people, pausing means stopping at over-the-clothes groping for a prayer break. I think the ad’s supposed to be vague so they can encourage both (admittedly maybe preferring the latter).

My problem with this kind of ad, actually, is that it never distinguishes when I can stop being celibate. You say you don’t understand because you were 20, but–were you fully prepared to raise a child at 20? By Palin’s logic, you needed to pause before you played even then. Even now. Shit.

If you play by “don’t have sex unless you’re prepared for the possibility of a baby” rules, I think most people would lose their virginity at about 30.