01 Mar
Dildomaker Genesis
Just when you thought there wasn’t such a thing as a home dildo-making contraption, there kind of still isn’t because it’s apparently just a concept! But make no mistake: someone has conceived of it.
Behold!
Is it problematic that giving something a glans shape on one end automatically makes it a dildo, or is that perfectly valid? Seems like this project could potentially be heteronormative, objectifying, and decidedly misanthropic all at once. Or not? I’m not really offended so much as Dear Astaroth, but we don’t know where that’s been! Except obviously a dildomaker.
There is nothing on point about making a sausage into a dildo.
In all likelihood no one should ever use this. But it’s a little hilarious.
What about Clone-a-Willy? They really should count as a home dildo-making device!
Never tried one but they have been on posters in the metro around christmas pretty much every year now for some time. (There’s a store that sells all kinds of gadgets and stuff who do the commercial, not a sextoy store.)
The fun-killing pedant in me notes that an actual dildo machine of this type would probably have to be like a box that you place the object in, not a pencil sharpener-style that you insert the object into. Otherwise the glans would get stuck and you couldn’t pull the object out again.
Or maybe they could make the cutters automatically retract, or something.
I have to say that I kind of love this idea, though. It would be even cooler (and less phallocentric) if the machine had several different settings. One could look like a penis, but then there could be ones that make other random bumpy/wavy shapes, too. Also it should add a flared base, for assplay.
@perversecowgirl
When the dildo is being made out of super-splintery wood, I’d say a flared base is the least of your safety worries!
The acucullonormativity makes me unhappy. :(
Huh. This seems to be a theme this week.