quizzical pussy

Sometimes when I’m stressed out I just want someone to charge into my largely solitary existence, messy up all my things that I’ve arranged carefully so that no one notices that I’m struggling, and god dammit take care of me. And I hate admitting that.

Holy crap it’s like a confession except everyone knows it’s me!

Oh thank god! I was so concerned about you because you posted about wanting to kill yourself and then you didn’t post for a week and I was running around in a circle whining like a distressed puppy. But you’re okay. Thank god.

I feel like a jackass for worrying you, and you have also made my frigid heart melt.

I’ve been healthily (for once) in love with a man who is stable and afraid to hurt me but willing to when he knows I need it and whose immediate reaction to seeing me have a Little breakdown and sucking my thumb is knowing he needs to take care of me and find a way to make me genuinely smile again, all while dating a man who thinks and will directly say that he needs to learn to be an asshole in order to be a Dom and he can’t do that and who puts off important conversations (like me trying to break up with him) for months and whose first reaction to me being upset enough to suck my thumb is, “That’s gross,” and who, oh gods, can’t spell but expects me to respect and follow his badly phrased and inappropriate orders when language means so much to me and he doesn’t care to even try. Lets all pretend that wasn’t a run-on sentence.

I AM DETERMINED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM; grant me the courage to not feel obligated to stay. I don’t want to hurt him, butt-fuck it, I’m going to have to in order to go on with my life and not have him waste any more of his time with me.

You are obligated to break up with someone when you genuinely don’t want to be in a relationship with them. When things have gone that far, no amount of conversation or counseling or ignoring the issue is going to reverse the fact that you genuinely don’t want to be in the relationship. And nothing good is going to come from staying in it. People get hurt; it’s what we sign up for when we fall for one another. A lover who never hurts you is one with whom you have a very brief or a very shallow connection. But the temporary pain of a breakup is so much better than the stagnation and misery of a relationship that is supposed to be over– and that goes for both people, ultimately.

Courage, poppet. You’ve got this.

We made out under the stars on this, our first date after having just met. We came up for air, and my future wife asked me, “What’s the strangest place at which you’ve ever masturbated?” I was 19, so I thought that “a dressing room at J.C. Penny” was pretty impressive. She was impressed. Years later (still before we married), she would go into the dressing room of Dillard’s, where she worked at the time, and get her jollies.

Since then, I can’t think of anything that really displaces it. In the car while driving? (Yawn.) In the men’s room at work? (Oh, puh-lease.) In a deer blind while hunting? (MAYbe.)

QP, what was your strangest place and/or circumstance that you’ve ever masturbated in?

And I would love to read commenters’ honest answers to this question. Even the mundane is of interest. For science.

I like to think that wearing kegel balls on a roller coaster totally counts. It feels like it counts.

Can i just say that my boyfriend is amazing. We are getting in to bondage play and we both don’t really know what we are doing but OH MY GOD I love being tied up so freaking much.

And I love him for taking care of me for three hours when I got overwhelmed and freaked out and started crying. He made me hot chocolate and wrapped me in blankets and held me until I felt better.

I love your boyfriend. In a strictly platonic, because-he-is-awesome-to-you-and-you-deserve-it way. Most likely.

I wrote you a novel of a confession weeks ago about my motorcycle friend. After several months of being teased by people who have seen us together, I felt I had to say something to him in light of a potentially awkward arrangement that would have been to the benefit of us both.

The integrity of my man picker is in worse shape than I was lead to believe: my mother and her friend thought it was just in need of recalibration for long-term mate traits. Given how far it’s lead me astray this last round I think it’s genuinely broken and, I dare say, irreparably damaged.

My feelings are deeply hurt but our relationship is more important to me, especially since he’s trusted me with his secret. At the same time, I know there are exceptions (I’ve met one and heard about three now). The adjectives he uses to describe them makes it clear that I do not merit one, even if he doesn’t say it plainly. I think that actually hurts more.

I feel selfish.

I feel like all the work I’ve done to be a better person and to be more attractive to the opposite sex has only made me a better friend of the “she’s like my sister” variety. After several years of this, I’ve come to believe that any variation of you’re sweet/a good person is the kiss of death despite those things supposedly being virtues.

I think I ought to give up on men because I’m tired of it blowing up in my face.

I’m sorry it turned out that way. I’m not going to bore you with platitudes, but if you need proof that you’re attractive to the opposite sex I doubt you have an profile on a dating website that mentions how much you love motorcycles. Let me know when you’re bored of the throngs of bikers messaging you. Just a hunch.

Last night, I beat my girlfriend with a riding crop for the first time, and all I can say is, HOLY FUCK!! Every time I hit her it was like a bolt of lightning right to my pussy, and WOW did it ever feel good! I’ve heard people say before that they can come just from beating someone, but now I actually understand how. The psychological and emotional rush you get is exquisite. Can’t wait to try it again :)

I hear there’s this thing called top space where yep, it’s pretty much HOLY FUCK or drugs or something.

We finally managed anal and although I don’t think it’s ever going to make me come it is super hot what it does to him. It is fun but not blow my mind, for me, but the way it blows his is totally worth the work to get there!

::Internet high five:: You are a champ to be so dedicated to your partner’s turn-ons, and deserve extra helpings of whatever sex blows your mind.

Confess your hot things. We don’t believe in sin here.

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