ConTuesday! Racing the clock. I mean the battery.
I sit here today in a bookstore with free wifi compiling ConTuesday on a laptop with 57% left on its battery and having forgotten my charger at home. I just got finished convincing a Planned Parenthood clinician that my migraines with aura are no good reason to disqualify me from taking combined hormone birth control. My nerves are a bit jangled from experimenting with a new medication last night that I will not be taking again.
Oh, but I should mention that everything’s actually pretty okay. Life’s been tough lately, and I’m never really going to have things under control, but if my lifetime thus far has taught me anything it’s that I can handle whatever you throw at me. Anything. And I’m pretty sure you’re a lot like me that way.
Now to hurry up and do this thing before my laptop slumbers.
Apparently, my boyfriend has (very quietly) named my left breast ”Charles Boobbage” and my right breast ”Sweeney Tit”. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m whole-heartedly enjoying it from over here! There’s something very special about someone able to render something ridiculous and sexualize it at the same time.
So a previous ConTuesday got me thinking of expanding my toy collection (currently one). The one I’m looking at seems really fun, but I’m debating on the wisdom of the purchase for a couple reasons. 1) The somewhat recent discovery of happy phone fun times by the boyfriend in another state and I has resulted in my vibrator being largely forgotten. I’m worried this one will experience similar neglect. 2) Even though I found it on sale on amazon, I’m still a very poor person. 3) Currently I’m living at my mom and stepdad’s house. Even though they are in another state because of his job, I’m worried that the package might go to them since all the mail is being forwarded to their current address. 4) The closest mailbox I could conceivably borrow is a friend’s house about an hour’s drive away. Almost every time I visit, my ex is there. While we’re cordial, this isn’t the kind of package I’d want to open in fro nt of him.
I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place (not the good kind).
What if you ordered something very cheap from amazon in addition to the vibrator that will ship in the same box? Then you can explain what’s in the package without lying and also eat the cake. I mean the vibrator.
Source: Years and years of lying to my parents.
I love nipples. They used to just seem decorative. But now I feel the pipeline between them and my cock. Sadly, my partner, who has some of the most amazingly reactive and varied-in-appearance teats that I have ever seen, doesn’t care for nipple play at all. Sad.
I like when she sucks mine with some teeth while I plunge deeper into her pussy. A long easy-going bite tends to make me come, pretty easily.
Interestingly, other men’s nipples do nothing for me. ALL women’s nipples are of interest to me. How strange, we straight mammals are.
I can’t bring myself to be too surprised that the (sometimes) erogenous zones of a population you’re not sexually attracted to don’t interest you, but something about the fact that you find it remarkable kind of gives me hope for the human race, in a way.
It could be the combined hormones talking, though.
I wish my husband had a twin because then instead of going on vacation for two weeks, we could just tell everyone we did that, and the three of us could remain in our bedroom, and they could keep me skewered tight and hot the entire time.
Is it weird that I’m always very forthcoming about the fact that I’d fuck a clone of myself (thoroughly!) but I don’t go around trumpeting that I’d like to fuck my own twin. Because incest is worse than Sci Fi? I guess?
But I sometimes think I still would.
I don’t know if this is sexual enough for this forum, but I recently got in to poly. A few days ago, my girlfriend and my boyfriend came running up to me and declared that they were going to spend more time together because “we have the possibility of being the best friends EVER! and we can think of more ways to torment you”. I love them both so much, and I’m thrilled that they like each other. Slightly worried about the torment, though…ee!!!
This is definitely sexual enough because it’s adorable and my life would be poorer for not having read it. These are the kinds of moments that, for me, crystalize the fact that poly is, well, pretty awesome.
Recently, regulations have changed regarding my life, and the life out thousands of new Soldiers across the Army. And by new I mean “I’ve been in a year and a half but still somehow count as new”. We now have an early curfew, every night. We aren’t allowed to go anywhere alone. I’m devastated on a personal level, because of my awesome relationship. Mostly because the idea of not being allowed to sleep in my dominant’s arms again, or beside our girlfriend, potentially ever, has had me cry myself to sleep twice now.
But on an attempting to be positive note, maybe now, more people on my post will learn the joy that is poly and threesome and moresomes. Because we either have to travel in same gender pairs our groups of three or more. I’m of the opinion there’s a simple way to get around the problem of not having sex.
But like, what the fuck do they expect you to do about the whole “I’m a human being and, as many of us do, need sexual contact to feel fulfilled and healthy” thing? Ugh. I hope you have scads of multi-soldier poly sex. But, you know, that’s probably not allowed either so idk. FUCK.
I have a long distance boyfriend, we haven’t been together long, but sparks went flying and we’re just going along with it without too many worries about the long term.
The second time we had sex on camera (well, masturbated on camera, but in my head it’s ’sex on camera’) I spanked my ass. I’d never done that before and we hadn’t talked about it at all, but somehow I had this gut feeling that he would love it. And boy was I right. I’m pretty sure I’ll never see anything as beautiful as his completely stunned/delighted face. Luckily, it turns out I really like it too (though probably the fact that he loves it so much has something to do with that). Afterwards, he wouldn’t shut up about how he had wanted to ask me to do that but he was waiting for the right time and he couldn’t figure out a way to do it that wouldn’t possibly offend me and I was so amazing for reading his mind etc etc etc. The lesson:
Asking someone to do that thing you love and having them say yes: pretty fucking awesome
Having someone do that thing you love spontaneously before you’ve even asked: there are no words
This isn’t the best moral for the virtues of frank and open sexual communication, but seriously, it’s giving me too many feels for me to quibble. Also, I now want to be a sexual intuitive, where I anticipate my partners’ needs like I’m Deanna Troi or some shit. Seriously, I bet she did that.
46%, you guys. We did good work today.